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Do you think this is selfish of me?

So my husband and I are having our 3rd baby in 5 days. I'm having a c-section, so I won't be able to hold her as soon as she's born. They will take her to the nursery before I even get to hold her. Well, I told DH that when he brings our little girl out of the operating room to meet my mom and the rest of our family, I don't want any of them to hold her. I want to be able to hold our daughter before everyone else. The only ones who can hold her are my husband and the nurses. Is this wrong of me? I just don't think it's fair that everyone else gets to hold MY daughter before I do.

 
renea20

Asked by renea20 at 2:07 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 32 (57,144 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • maybe you can talk the nurses into just showing the baby through the nursery glass. The rest of the family can visit with the baby after you get your room, and you are both settled in. Are you rooming-in with the baby??


    Talk to your nurses before they start the C-Section. Sometimes they will intervene for you and I bet they have BTDT before with a request like this!


    I don't think you are selfish at all feeling like you should be the first to hold the baby (besdies DH since he will go to the nursery with her while they stitch you up) I felt that way too after my baby was born and I was the last to see/hold her.


    But... if it doesn't go your way, it probably isn't worth causing a lot of drama about later since the rest of the family will probably get hurt feelings about it.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 2:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I felt the same way. When I had my daughter, the nurse went to hand her to my mom before I had a chance to hold her and I stopped her. And I would hope that everyone would understand that you would want to see and hold your baby before they get to. I'm sure some feathers will get ruffled... that's just how it goes. You can't make everyone happy.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 2:10 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's a mother's right to be able to hold her child first!! I think that's part of birth and motherhood. That was one of the best moments in my life-when I pushed that big ol' baby out and the DR laid her on my chest =) A moment I will never forget!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Im sure if you talk to them before you go in they might understand. Its not selfish its being a mom. you carried it around for 9mths got beaten up by it and had it ripped out of you yeah you should hold the baby before anyone else
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 2:13 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • congratulationsLOL...You are so funny and silly...but I understand how you feel but if you look at the situation you are in it is going to be impossible. The only thing you can do is get some rest and be happy your baby girl is healthy. Unless your dh can bring her by and bring her to you before anyone gets there...And no you are not selfish...Do what you have to do to make this happen and if it doesn't happen your way atleast you still get to hold your baby girl.its a girlGL

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:15 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I would feel the same but my mom had my sister via c-section and she got to hold her before anyone else. They didnt need to take her to the nursery immediately because nothing was wrong and yoou can still feel ur arms. just tell the nurses you really want to be the first one to hold ur baby and they will hand her over unless there issomething wrong. but yes then u'll have to give her back pretty soon.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:21 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • congrads on the baby :)

    I would just inform family how you feel, so they know ahead of time. The more you explain now.. the less likely they are to be offended.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:42 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Talk it over with the doctor and nurses. I would think that as long as the baby is OK that you could hold her for at least a moment. Then everyone else could have their chance too.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:04 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Idon't think you are being selfish at all. I had 2 c-sections and was the first one to hold my babies in the delivery room.
    LoriW

    Answer by LoriW at 3:24 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I think it's selfish. I've had 2 c-sections and will have my 3rd in December. I would much rather my family hold my child before I'm able than for her to be stuck in that bassinet as a brand new baby with no one touching her, or with strangers (the nurses) handling her. My husband was the first to hold both of our babies.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:35 PM on Jun. 26, 2009