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i feel like a failure!

really! my 3 year old only speaks what is nessicary, wont eat, or sleep in his room as of late, throws huge tantrums, and im at a loss as what to do!

i feel like such a terrible mother that its sad, ive just given up, litterally! the next 2 months are very hectic, with teh kids birthday party and moving, our relation ship still on the rocks, it hasnt even happend yet and im on the edge of a break down.. its so bad that i dont even want to be in teh same room as my kids, yet i wonder why he dosent talk, and lases out... it just feels like our lifes are doomed!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • you need to set some rules for your kids and if they break them then punish them and stick to it cuz if you give up then they will just walk all over you, this will take time but if they see you mean business then things will start changing, you just can't give up whats so ever
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • It is ok, you are not a failure. There are times I feel like I am going to pull my hair out because of my 5 year old daughter. I just have to get her daddy to deal with her. I think he may feel the tension in the house, and this is the only way he knows how to deal. It is probably just a phase. If it is really bothering you talk with his dr. I think it will pass, and things will be ok. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You care so that shows you love him. Good luck sweetie!!!
    TeriMelisa

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 2:35 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • when i talk to his pedi he says that he is fine, he talks enough and understands things, i used to be very strict on rules and stuff, but its been a hard 6 months. and i really dont know how much longer i can do this. i mean what kid og mother lets her 3 and 1 year olds play by them selves all day? i put up the abby gate and we stay in 1 room all day long
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • sounds like you are depressed, (been there, but luckily my kids were school-age) give yourself some slack. Talk to your Dr about it.

    I was going through some marital problems and I couldn't get anything done. I had one really great friend, who came over took me and all of our laundry to the laundromat for my B-DAY and helped me do it. Even though I had a working washer and dryer. But I found that finally being in control of that one small area of my life, helped me be strong enough to face the others. Hang in there, your kids probably won't even remember this when they're older.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Have you looked into Autism I know you don't want to hear that but research the internet and see if there are any similarities, sounds like it to me, if thats not the case you just have tougher kids which I myself have he's ADHD though how I survived I will never know!!
    momof4520

    Answer by momof4520 at 2:50 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • no atusim or adha, and i know im depressed, but with no health insurance theres not much i can do. everything bad just seems to happen
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You are not a failure, all kids develop differently. As long as your child's Dr. isnt concerned, you shouldnt be either. Sounds though like you need to get outside and get the kids good and tired so they will be a little less hard on you. Whatever the problem is will still be there later, even if you take the kids out and enjoy a little time with them. Once you get out of the house, you might see things differently and you might find a way to bring discipline back and have better communication with your hubby. Life is too short and the kids grow up so fast, dont let things get over your head.

    YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE
    CavMamma

    Answer by CavMamma at 3:14 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You're not a failure! The kids are are reacting to the stress in your home. See a doctor for the depression and be consistent with the kids. When you tell them no, tell them once and they get a time out. I know it's hard to get up and deal with it, but it will be so much easier when you don't have to constantely deal with bad behavior, they will know you mean what you say. My youngest is 3 and I have a disability, it's hard getting up and enforcing rules but I have no choice. It's also very difficult getting up to play games with my 2 youngest, but I force myself, even when the pain is too bad to move. It really helps with the depression, there is nothing better than childrens' laughter. Fearing your future won't change it, but a change in attitude might.You're a good mom, sweetie, now get up, turn on some music and dance around with the kids,release those feel good endorphins, them come back and tell us how you feel.
    LoriW

    Answer by LoriW at 4:38 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Call around they have places where you can get help with your depresion on a sliding scale.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:00 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

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