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Anyone else have guilt like this?

Two nights ago my 16-month old threw a hard ball at my head (on purpose). It hurt like a bitch and I yelled "OWW!" He laid his head down and whimpered and had little tears running down his cheeks. I didn't mean to scare him but everytime I think about it I feel so bad I tear up! Now I feel bad about him being in daycare while I'm at work and me not being able to buy him new clothes (he has all hand-me-downs) and every other little thing. :(
Anyone else feel guilty over stuff like this?

 
MommyKKay

Asked by MommyKKay at 3:21 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 12 (666 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Yep, it means you're a caring, loving, compassionate mother. It's hard to love someone as much as we love our babies. But you're doing the best you can and doing what's best for him. And the fact that he got upset when he realized he hurt you means your raising a good person. Hang in there. It sounds like your a fantastic mother. It's all worth it.
    jenlenr

    Answer by jenlenr at 3:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Yep, all the time. about not spending the time with him, if I yell or am frustrated with him.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 3:25 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • OMG!! my son throws his bottle at me from his crib to get me up in the mornings and well there are times that im just not in the "morning-mood" I know the feeling I cry sometimes too when i see i hurt his feelings. Thats the worst!!
    pimpernelly

    Answer by pimpernelly at 3:43 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Yes! My oldest is 2.5 and she's already in her "Trysome Threes" so lately we've been butting heads a lot lately. The other day we got home from daycare and she was in a lovely mood. She was upset that I wanted to watch the news and threw a tantrum, screaming at me so I put her in her room. I checked on her about 10 minutes later and she had calmed down. Well, about 30 minutes later, way beyond the screaming tantrum, we're eating dinner peacefully and she says "Sorry I screamed at you mommy." OMG, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Of course I'm like "It's ok Lily don't worry about it I love you." But just the fact that she remembered she yelled and apologized so much later showed me she truly felt bad and then I felt bad! I thought about it all day the next day while she was in daycare and just wanted to leave and go pick her up!!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Yelling oww to a child that just purposefully did something that caused you physical harm is NOT wrong.It is teaching!With my first son I felt so bad I would just tell him softly that he hurt mommy.He continued to think it was ok to hurt others until I started expressing to him that he was hurting me.When my second son started biting me and drawing blood at 16months old I quickly expressed to him my pain by saying "Ouch!" very loud and would not give him attention for a few minutes.He quickly stoped biting me and doing other things to hurt others.As for the hand me downs, everyone feels bad if they can't provide NEW things for their children, but know you are doing the best you can and children never know the difference if you don't complain about in front of them. I had 4 older sisters and ALL my clothes were hand me downs, until I started buying my own clothes.AND My sons' clothes are second hand from my sister's kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • "Yelling oww to a child that just purposefully did something that caused you physical harm is NOT wrong"

    I agree with that!
    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 5:36 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I agree with the PPs. He needs to understand that he hurt you so he won't keep doing it. That's how kids learn empathy. I think it's sweet that he reacted the way he did. It shows he feels bad about hurting you. Although we never want our kids to feel bad, we do need want them to understand that hurting people feels bad.

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 5:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Nope. Because no matter what you do, you're doing the best you can. What is there to feel guilty about? You can't do any better than your best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Oh yeah... and the majority of my kids stuff is hand me downs or stuff I bought at consignment sales. Most of their clothes are brand name and I can buy a whole wardrobe at consignment for the same price as just a few outfits (on sale!) at the store if I was buying it new! Do I feel guilty because my kids have more than enough clothes? No.... I am grateful that they have clothes!


    Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and try to count your blessings. I don't mean to sound harsh but there are a lot of people out there that would be so glad to have just a portion of what you have to give their kids right now...

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 5:54 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • time: yes I did but never about hand me downs. It's wasteful imo to pay retail out of guilt when you can get perfectly good, even name brand clothes, handed down or even buy second hand. You could use the money saved to go to an amusement park or something else you and your child can enjoy together. It doesn't bother little kids to have hand me downs. they are just grateful you love them and give them food and shelter.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:16 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

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