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How did everyone get started with the adoption process?

When my husband get's back from his deployment we would like to adopt a boy to add to our family and I wanted know who I need to call and how everyone went about doing it.

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MariahD

Asked by MariahD at 4:39 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It depends where you live! Do some research! find all the adoption places in your area. then look into each one checking out there fees and ect. then when you find the right one, you have to go to a meeting there and do back round checks and all that then after aproved they will give you lists of children that you can read about and look through. then when you think you found the right one they will let you meet the child and see how u and the child are together... if it is an unborn child the process is alittle diff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • It was overwhelming for us to decide on the avenue we wanted to go. We decided that we wanted to pursue an African-Americican or Biracial infant domestic adoption through a local organization that links hard to place children with families who accept challenging or difficult to place children/situations. Most families who are waiting to adopt, in this country, choose to wait for a healthy white baby with no drug/alcohol/medical complications infant. Which means non white infants/toddlers and infants/toddlers who have some health issues (minor or not so minor) are very difficult to place. We made the decision that who ever and what ever the situation was that it would be okay. That meant that we were open to no prenatal care, drug/alcohol use, any race, and doesn't matter parents' family medical history. It was scary to think our child may need different services and interventions than other children. Every parent wants
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:10 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • a healthy baby. Our son today is a typical boy. We have had our moments where I was scared for him and his future. That will happen again I am sure. We did have some delays. But we had support and the best interventions and services possible. He is healthy and active. Minor things I don't sweat: allergies, severe asthma (manageable but scary at times), and a few other little things. I am just thankful he is who he is and I get to be his mom. I could never have imagined a more perfect child despite sometimes all the scary moments we have had. I would honestly not trade it for anything.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • How did we get started? In 2000, after 10 yrs together and almost 4 yrs of marriage, we started researching domestic agencies. We ruled out int'l pretty quickly d/t the cost. Most said they did only open adoptions, and we weren't comfortable with that yet. We chose Catholic Charities b/c of the cost and the fact that they would consider what everyone wanted but favor what the emom wanted. I called, and they said DH was past the age limit. We kept looking but didn't really like any others. A year later I called back, planning to beg for them to make an exception. They said they'd changed their policy and would work with us! DD was born in 2004, and she came home from the hospital with us. After we finalized I told them we wanted to be on the list again, but they said we were past the age limit.

    We moved to another state, right on the state line between two states (cont)...
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:47 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • (cont) I wanted to establish our permanent residence in the state with the agency that has no fees, even for legal (the Catholic Charities office there had already said DH was past the age limit). DH wanted to be closer to work, so we stayed on the other side of the state line. We contacted that Catholic Charities office, who said they'd work with us. That was in 2005. DS was born in 2008, and we brought him home at 4 weeks old. DH was only 42 when we began to run into age limits.

    I've also heard what Frogdawg said, that most couples wait for the "perfect white baby", but I wonder how true that is. Most couples I know in real life and online have adopted babies with FAS, minor or major medical conditions, prematurity, or drug exposure.

    Both our adoptions are open, and it has been a very good experience. PM me if you want more info on that. Good luck in your search!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:53 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • The first thing that you need to do is decide on which route you wish to take in your adoption journey. Foster-adopt is done through the county/state, is typically free, the state usually provides a subsidy for the child until 18, some kids are already available for adoption ( TPR is signed or rights have been severed), but sadly many children may never be released for adoption. Foster care is designed with the intent of maintaining the biological family, so you have to be prepared for the possibility of not being able to adopt one of those kiddos.
    Domestic infant- done through an agency/attorney. There are fees and paperwork involved. The wait can be long due to waiting to be matched with an expectant mother.
    International- Long waits- either for referral or travel, pricey, TONS of paperwork, deal with 4 layers of gov't, and many countries have restrictions. You also have to be prepared for a program to shut down with no...
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 7:28 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • warning... Russia has shut down in the past to restructure.. Guatemala is currently shut down and people have had referrals for 2 years and are having problems getting their child home now. China is now almost a 4 year wait for a non special needs child. SN is at least a year.

    We adopted from China 2 years ago. Our journey began when we got packets from agencies, researched, interviewed and then picked an agency. We began the process in 3/05, but didn't receive our referral until 2/1/07. Our trip was from 3/29/07-4/14/07. We were in China for 17 days. Our dd was 17 months when we met her and will be 4 in a few months. She has been home for 2 years.
    HTH
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 7:36 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I'd recommend starting by reading "The Adoption Resource Book". It will give you lots of information on the various types of adoptions, the processes, what to look for, etc. I found it very helpful when we got started. Also, you might check to see if your husband's benefits include an adoption consultant. This person can help explain the process, answer questions, etc. NOTE: This person provides informational services only. Large companies often include this benefit but I don't know if the military would. GOod luck!
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 5:01 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • If you are in texas may i suggest Alternatives In Motion. They are a great. Loving, caring, helpful, and honestly there to help you get the baby you desire. Look them up online Alternatives in Motion...or otherwise known as AIM. They are located in Houston, Tx. Good luck to your family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

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