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I don't know what else to do....

First off, I'm not in the mood for bashing right now, so those of u in a bitchy mood can just skip right on to the next question...Anyway, so here's my situation. My SO and I have been in a very rocky place for a few months now. Most of the fighting started when he got laid off and $$ began to run tight. I know that it's stress that's keeping us on edge all the time, but we have completely lost sight of why we fell in love in the 1st place. I have tried so many different things and I just can't seem 2 get through to him. I feel like he has completely shut me out emotionally. I know that it is impossible for 1 person to fix a relationship by him/herself. I'm just so tired, physically & emotionally. I love him so much & want to marry him, but I just feel like giving up. I feel like there is no reason for me to keep trying if he isn't willing to meet me half way. I know that he loves me. He isn't a very emotional person & I am.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I know it might not help, but you can feel comforted in knowing it's not you causing his moods, it's finances or just maybe depression. Financial stress on men often makes them feel if their failing as a husband and provider. He's probably just really frustrated. I don't know that I'd bug him with questions of "are you okay?" "Do you want to talk?" I think I'd just really make a big deal about how much you appreciate him. You know, "I love that you make me smile." "I"m glad I have such a good guy." I'd stroke the ego and try ignoring the moods. It might not work. Also, he could actually be in a depression now because of the difficulties. Find opportunities to laugh and enjoy eachother when you can. Good luck.
    2bennettmom

    Answer by 2bennettmom at 1:01 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • cont.
    I know that things will get better once we both go back to work, but what about all the hurt he is causing me now? I don't know if I will be able to get over this if things do eventually get better. I am not one who gives up very easily, but as I said before, I am all out of ideas. He is not emotionally or physically abusive in any way. He is just harsh with his word choices sometimes. He can easily make me feel like I am the one who is causing all of our problems & I know that it takes 2 people to destroy a relationship, just as it takes 2 to make a relationship work.

    have any of you ever been in a similar situation? how did it work out? any advice is welcome.

    I really don't want to give up on him, because I know what kind of man he can be, what kind of man he used to be.........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Give him some space, let him deal with his issues. It is emasculating to be unemployed and unable to provide for a man. He is the "hunter" remember. In fact, statistics show that domestic violence is predominantly common among unemployed men. So give him some room and some time to find a job and he will start feeling better and more like himself. Good Luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I imagine he is feeling stress from being out of work, and with the job market the way it is... that does not help. Does he have any physical activites he likes to do- like jog, lift weights, punch a punching bag, work out? Sometimes doing physical activities can help relieve stress and elevate moods.
    I think you need to remind him that you love him, and let him have some space to work thru this. I hope he finds a job soon and things get better. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:05 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I think you both need to find something to do together to get your minds of the financial stress you are going through.. that seems to be the key of this problem.. and working together to fix it, and working together on your relationship is what is key. Men hold things inside, especially when they feel guiltly about financial problems.. but work at it. There are a lot worse men out there you could be caught up with.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:15 AM on Jun. 27, 2009