Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I take his debit card away?

I hate to be an over baring wife you know like Kate Gosselin but my dh is being so childish with his spending. We live on a very tight budget, Dh got paid today he gets home and he has bought himself a new cell phone at the unclaimed baggage he spent almost $50. And he withdrew another $40. Two days ago we had a whole conversation on bills and money. I do the finaces, I'm the one who has to somehow figure out how to pay everything with what we have. He does not, all he know how to do is spend the money. Anyway that wasn't all he also post dated a check for the car's oilchange and he decides to get the brakes done to. I've asked him to please call and ask first when making these decisions without me. He has donr this on numerous occations and I end up the bad one. I know the car needs brakes I'm the one who drives it. But I can't poop money. I really don't want to take his debit card but it's getting to that point.


Asked by luvmygrlz at 12:25 AM on Jun. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 30 (42,250 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Ahhh! How we'll handle the money is a great thing to decide on early on in a relationship. So, you do the bills, and he tries to foil that with careless spending. Not that he sounds like he's over the top and excessive, but spending on things that aren't in the budget. Maybe you should relinquish control and let him pay the bills for two months. Now don't take advantage and start spending will-nilly. Really take it seriesly so he can see how difficult it is. If you don't trust him to do this, make him a part of the budgeting. Let him see where all the money is going and that there is little room for excess. Good Luck, it's tough for everyone.

    Answer by 2bennettmom at 12:33 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • (cont) What would be the best resolution to get him to understand we have bills to pay. I don't get to spend my paycheck on all I'd like to.

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:27 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I would say yes, if he is ACTING like a child, he should be TREATED as one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Let him do the finances if he won't listen to you. Let him suffer the consequences of not having the money for the bills. Give creditors HIS phone number to harass.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:31 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I would set up a sepperate account for "fun" money. Thats what me and my husband had to do because he will spend thousands on fish stuff for his tanks if the money is in the account. He dosnt relize that we still have bills to pay he just sees that we have money at the moment so it must be ok. I set an account up for things that we want but dont have money for now (DH wants ANOTHER fish tank we already have 6!) So we put 20 bucks into that account every month and we put some in another one for a pistol that i want then we put about 50 if we have it in another one for if we want to go out to dinner or a movie or something like that. Other than that its all for the bills this way he has a card to use if he wants to but we can still have the money to cover the bills.

    Answer by Shelii at 12:32 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • admckenzie**Let him do the finances if he won't listen to you. Let him suffer the consequences of not having the money for the bills. Give creditors HIS phone number to harass.**

    I did that for like 6 months we ended up giving the bank like $2000 in overdraft charges. I did to prove a point because he got mad at me because I bought the girls some clothes that they NEEDED.

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:36 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Your best solution is to take the DC away!!! Pull money out every Sunday for the week and give him daily money, this is what I did with my ex. I successfully paid past due bills and saved over $2000 in 6 weeks...

    Answer by ormom1977 at 2:02 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • give yourselves each an allowance each week.. Make it fair and keep the same amount for each of you. Tell him that is his money to spend, if he wants to save it and buy a fishtank later on than fine, but EVERYTHING including lunches out, special purchases, clothes, etc. comes out of that allowance. EVERYTHING else goes to bills.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 2:16 AM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Hand him the stack of bills and the passwords to all the bill accounts and tell him to have fun. Then not worry about it for a month. Let him deal with hit.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:03 AM on Jun. 27, 2009