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For Military Families

my little bro went to Afghanistan today. He has been before, but only for a short time, 3 months. Now he will be there for 15 months to 18 months. I can't shake this bad feeling I have. I know he is only my brother, but he and I are very close. He is one of my best friends. How do you get over these feelings?


Asked by krissyvelazquez at 1:01 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 19 (8,028 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • Stay as positive as possible
    Find a support group
    Talk about your feelings, don't let them consume you
    Be very proud of your brother and best friend
    You can even ask for CM members to pray for your brother...maybe start your own group on here or join one for military families....
    Good Luck, and Thank your brother for all of us. Hope he is safe and gets home sooner than that

    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 1:21 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • What branch and what is his job??

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 1:08 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I would suggest joining a militry family support group. THere are even some on CafeMom. Good Luck and Bless your family.

    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 1:12 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • there is no special way to get over your feelings of OVERWHELMING fear. #1-keep yourself busy #2 join some kind of support group. look around here on CM-there are tons and #3 just pray... think about what you'll do when he comes home... like throwing a party, where the first place you'll take him to dinner.... even if it is a year and half away, thinking of good times TO COME is key. hope that helps a little... God Bless!!

    Answer by Harmony0501 at 1:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • For me what really helped is to pray about it. I also had to change my way of thinking. Part of you is so nervous and the other part of you is trying to be rational. Its not easy at first but when you start thinking upsetting thoughts you have to take a step back and think ok calm down and lets think this through. Does this make sense? or have I lost you? lol. Its basically a conscious change that will take some time to get used to. In the beginning its hard but if you really work at it you will not have those types of thoughts as often. This technique is definitely easier said than done. I hoped this helped you.

    Answer by marinewifey25 at 1:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I have dealt with three deployments and the beginning is very hard but it is important to just have faith in your brother that he is trained with the best. Remember that NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. Get into a routine and soon the time will pass. The hardest will be holidays and important/significant days. Just keep your faith and write him often and send care packages. My advice is to get the priority flat rate boxes that way as long as it fits in the box it is a flat rate. There will be highs and lows but just pray and keep the faith.

    Answer by usmc0351wife at 1:23 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I did several things during our first deployment. My husband is in a combat MOS and was out every day. I cannot tell you how many times a day I prayed. Prayer is a powerful thing, and I always asked God to give me the strength to get through the day, and to be with my husband so that he can make the best decisions possible no matter what situation he was in.
    I also made certain that I didn't watch the news. Any news I needed I would get from my husband directly, or I would read. Watching the news is about the worst thing you can do during a deployment. All you are getting is traumatic visual images of violence. All that it is going to do is worry you even more than you already are worried.
    Send emails, care packages, letters, and cards. I sent something every few days just so he knew that he was missed. Thank your brother for his service. God Bless!

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 1:41 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • we rock      A little something for my military "family."  What matters is we are part and parcel of a very special fabric.  We are military wives, mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, daughters and grandmothers.

     The first few days are the hardest.  I tend to get upset when I hear from my hubby at night.  You are not alone though.  You have the strength of the families of the past, present and future to get you through it.  Pray and pray often.  I have logged hours on my knees beside my bed and it never fails to soothe my soul.  Do something special on the 4th as a sort of tribute to your brothers service.  Bless you.


    Answer by yourspecialkid at 2:55 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I can't add any more than is already here but my thoughts are with you and your family.

    Answer by JackalsWife at 3:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I used to think a deployment to Afghanistan or Iraq was an automatic death sentence as well. It is horrible over there, but he doesn't need you worring about him right now, he needs you to stay positive and strong and be there for him emotionally. Don't make it about you and how you feel, this is about him. Write often, send care packages, and keep him sane. If something does happen, you'll have time to worry then. I wish your family the best!

    Answer by Seven07 at 10:42 PM on Jun. 27, 2009