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Do you see your child(ren) as an equal?

I do, They have there own thoughts and ideas and feelings, what they like and what they don't like, what they want to do and what they don't want to do. I don't feel the need to have control over my son, I let him make his own decisions so he can learn from his mistakes and his accomplishments, Intervening at every chance you get and telling your kid what they should do at every waking moment seems a little crazy to me, So many people say" kids have it so easy these days" ...people who are twice your size RULE YOUR WORLD. your told what to do and when to do it, at time when they have done something of your disapproval they are striked with your hand or an object, your told to eat when your not hungry, and sleep when your not sleepy and smile when you sometimes just feel like crying. being a kid is easy? I don't think so.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I TOTALLY agree! I respect my children as people & don't feel it is my place to control, manipulate or coerce them into being a certain way. Have you heard of terms like unconditional parenting, mindful parenting, or consensual living? If not, you might want to check them out. http://www.consensual-living.com/

    Contrary to what some people may want to believe, living consensually with your children doesn't mean not teaching them to respect others or letting the "walk all over you". Just the opposite really. It is showing them, through your living example, how to get along with others and find mutually acceptable solutions to problems. It's not "lazy" parenting either. Again, just the opposite. Sometimes it can be a LOT of work to find solutions that work for everyone. But the relationship I have with my children is SO worth it to me. We are so close and It's a beautiful way to live!
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 5:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Sorry, no. I know they have their own opinions and ideas and that's fine, but the fact is, I pay the bills, I buy the food, and I am the one held responsible for their mistakes if they cost money or hurt someone, including themselves. They can make their own decisions on some things, but not on big things. I'm glad you don't feel the need to have control over your son, I just hope it doesn't come back to bite you in the butt later.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:15 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Hmmmmmm, my child as my equal....thats a strange way to put it. I mean, they are NOT adults and do not have the capacity to always know what is best for them.

    But I do have respect for my kids and do not abuse them by overpowering them.

    Yes, they need to learn how to make good decisions by making mistakes and learning from them. but they also need a good coach guiding their way and showing them what should be done and how to do it.

    Parents who give too much freedom and lack any control of their children usually have a problem during the teen years when kids are prone to make terrible decisions and the parents no longer have a voice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I do not personally think of my child as an equal. I agree to an extent about allowing children to learn from mistakes but giving them the freedom to make their own decisions .... I don't think so. What does a child know about making good choices. If I had it my way when I was a child I would have went to school and would have eaten chocoale icre cream for breakfast luch and dinner. I believe a parent should be just that a parent. By definition we are supposed to have control over our children and creat rules for them to follow.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • i agree with pp
    bonnie-jo

    Answer by bonnie-jo at 3:18 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • Nope, my husband and I are the parents, they are the children. Our household isn't a democracy. It isn't supposed to be. That's what's wrong with our country, too many parents want to be their kids' friend instead of their parent.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • really? parents wanting to be friends and co-exist in a peaceful home environment , is what's wrong with our country?? what rock have you been living under and how long have you been living there?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I disagree. A childs brain is not developed as an adults therfore cannot be equal to an adult. They do not have the mental skills to make all logical decisions that need to be made. Do you send a 7 year old out to play by themselves and just assume they will tell you where they are going? Do you let your 10 yr old loose in a large theme park because you trust them to make the right decisions? I could go on and on. Why do you think it is a control issue?
    Sounds like you are trying to make it into an abuse situation. If you don't believe your child is equal you must disrespect them and control them? Just because someone might say their child is not equal to them doesn't mean they belittle and yell at them all the time. It doesn't mean that they are used as a doormat and maid. It doesn't mean that you overprotect them and never let them do anything.
    You raise your child in the manner you please and i'll do the same.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 3:31 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • we are equal as humans but not in roles. They have much to learn and we are the teachers so there can never be total equality between a child and a parent imo
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I believe there's a time to be a parent and a time that you can be your childs friend. I will treach my child from right to wrong allow her to make the mistakes that she will make but when dinner is on the table it's time to eat and if i say NO then that's the final answer. My child is her own person and im not a controling person. All in all Im a GOOD parent and i will make sure my child will know who the adult is in the house and that's her father and I.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jun. 27, 2009