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Can a marriage ever rebound after the spark has gone?

My husband has told me that the spark is gone from our marriage. We've been together 18 years and have 2 children together.

I really want to try and rekindle things but he doesn't seem to want to.

Has anyone ever gone thru this and what was your outcome?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Sometimes the spark just dwindles down, it doesn't mean it's out! If you feel that it's not totally gone express that to him and tell him you would like to work on it before giving up. If you still feel it could work then there must be something there. Talk to him and ask him if you two can try and work on it and if it fails then go from there but don't give up with out trying or like people say with out a fight!! Try counceling as a couple and individually.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I am sure that was hard to hear, especially after all you have done for your family for the past 18 years. I don't think marriage has to have an indefinite "spark." Although I think that it is essential that the two individuals involved should want to rekindle it. The burden of trying shouldn't be left solely up to you.

    I have never had this happen to me and cannot imagine what you are going through. I only hope that your husband realizes how special it is to have a women who loves him more than anything and is willing to go to the lengths you are to TRY. Just remember that your life is your own and cannot be defined by other people's experiences and statistics. Keep faith and never give up. I am sure the outcome will be what you desire it to be. The best of luck to you and your family.


    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 4:21 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • He has to be willing to rekindle the spark. If both people are willing, it will work. You can help him want to rekindle the spark by getting him to remember what made him fall in love with you in the first place. Read old letters or notes or look at old pictures or videos with you two together. Allow yourself to remember and feel how you felt towards him and how he felt towards you. How he looked at you or touched you, whatever it was that you did that made his insides tickle and that he did that made your insides tickle. Try to make it a point to feel that everyday, and try to get him to feel it too. It will take some time and eventually he will have to cooperate. Keep at it. If it is worth fighting for, fight with all your might! Relax and have confidence in yourself that you can do it. Yes marriages can come back and when they do they are better and stronger then ever. Watching the movie 'Fireproof' could help both of you!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • All marriages go through this. If the couple is really committed they can and will work through this. I have been married 16 years our friendship is what keeps us going. We both have had times where we did not feel that spark but both of realize that spark is what gets a couple together and is not supposed to sustain a marriage. Marriage is more than the initial lust and attraction. It is holding hair back when your wife is throwing up for 5 months of pregnancy. It is telling your husband what a great man he is after he has just lost his job and his self esteem is just gone. It is staying up all night with a sick child helping each other. Love is a choice we all make. Some choose to not love their partner anymore and don't do what they should to keep the marriage alive and healthy. Others are strong and do the work required and choose daily to love whether they feel a spark or not. Marriage is not for the weak.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • I'm reading a book that has a section on that now! Go get Gary Smalley's book called For Better or for Best. Good luck. There is always a away to rekindle a spark. Sometimes you just have to use a bigger match! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:37 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

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