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What can I do about this? Its starting to get embbrassing

My 16month old son throws the biggest fit when I leave the room. I already know he's got seperation anxiety really bad but he's been just screaming for nothing. As soon as he cant see me he starts to scream cry, even when he can see me he'll act up.
We are out of town right now so I understand he's at a new place but he's with people who love him, and everyones been good to him and he's attached to my aunt now.
Help me, how can I make him feel comfotable and at ease here. He cries his eyes out when I go to the bathroom and he throws a fit over anything- over nothing. He's been kicking his legs and throwing tantrums when he cant have something- he knows he would never be able to have. I dont get it, its out of hand
Its embarrassing, people think he acts like this all the time, like I cant "parent" him or like he has no discipline HELP ME PLEASE

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • I don't know enough of your situation. If he's suffering from separation anxiety just when you go to the bathroom, it could mean you're too clingy with him. If you pick him up at every whimper and give attention to every outburst, he knows this is the way to get your attention and what he wants. If you don't give in to him, then I don't understand what the problem is. There's something going on that's making him feel it's a good idea to have outbursts like this. It serves some good purpose for him. You just have to look at how you're reacting to him doing this. Children acting out in this way are usually the ones who don't get enough attention and will settle for even negative. Without knowing more details it's hard to determine what's going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • DANG IT! My whole response got erased! GRRRRR. Lol.

    What I said, in a nutshell, is that this is completely normal behavior. Your child is at a stages where he is testing this part of his world.

    Separati
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:12 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • OMGsh computer!

    I think the hardest part of toddlerhood is between 1 and 2 years. Cause they're old enough to do all these "bad" things, but not old enough to reason - and that's really what's needed for discipline to work. Like he doesn't understand "Mommy needs to go to the potty and if I wait she'll be right back". Sounds simple, but for kiddo's it's not (for the most part).

    For the seperation anxiety - which is totally normal - give it time. eMy DD has been attached to my hip since birth. I couldn't do so much as pee without her. I thought she'd never grow out of it. But somewhere between 18 months and 2 years (she's 2 now), she is finding her independence. Today I washed all the dishes while she played in her room, all on her own.

    Don't look at seperation anxiety as a negative - just think of how close of a bond the 2 of you must have, and cherish it cause it will change soon enough.
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:15 PM on Jun. 27, 2009



  • And, the tantrums. This is another completely normal part of child ds it gevelopment. Around 16 month my DD got so bad I couldn't even take her anywhere. Voice his feelings for him.
    I know you are upset that you can't have that cookie, I understand honey. Then engage him into an activity he likes. - I think that's really important. If you deny him the cookie yet stay in the kitchen where the cookie is, he's not going to just say "oh okay, I can't have a cookie I'll just walk away". Lol

    Dr. Sears calls this being a "facilitator". Which by the way, the Dr. Sears Discipline Book is AWESOME, check it out.

    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • One last thing!

    With the kicking/hitting/biting/pinching (which also seems to be a completely normal phase), when he does this, say "oww" or whatever, and show him how to "be gentle" and stroke his arm and talk sofly. I did this with my daughter and at first she would still do it, but kiss me right after, lol, and now she is 2 and absolutely never hits or anything.

    Just be consistent, get down to his level, and have the compassion to know that he isn't doing it to hurt you, he is just testing his world.
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:20 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

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