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Is he being immature?

My boyfriend and I are having our first little due in Aug. For the past month or so he's been going out to the bar every Sat. and Sun. He says he doesn't want me to go with bacause of all the smoke, which I understand. But is this just a phase he's going through? He's 28 and I thought his partying days were over. He tells me he's just going out and having fun while he can, cause once the baby gets here he figures he won't be able to. Did your boyfriend/hubby do this before your first baby was born? I understand wanting to have a good time, but every weekend for the past month is a bit much I think. Is this normal?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • My BF was the same way! He was 26 at the time. We lived in separate apartments & he didn't want me to come down to his b/c of the cigarette smoke. (I didn't want to go down there, either, but it would've been nice to hang out w/ him. Heck, it was his apt & he could've asked people to smoke outside.) He drank & partied a lot during the last few months of my pregnancy. His excuse was the same as your BF's. He claimed that he wanted to "get it out of his system" but he didn't change much. He mostly partied to block out the stress & fear about becoming a father. He also drank a lot & did drugs. He wasted so much money on partying. After our son was born, he didn't party anymore, but I was still upset about what he'd done. He realized that he messed up & he make a lot of mistakes. He barely held onto a job & is now having to rebuild my trust in him & get his life back together. It will take some time...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • ...and he's working hard to get back on track. Our son is going to be one year in August. I was really losing faith in him.

    I don't think this is normal for all men. I mean, they all have some way of dealing w/ becoming a new father. I think we just got the immature ones. Real mean don't party & waste away their lives before becoming a father. Fortunately, mine is bettering himself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • My son's father cheated on me when I was 5 months pregnant and I left him. He has not been a father in 13 yrs, so no not all men grow up. If he was a real man, your SO would be with you not partying with his friends. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't go out. You could be doing things with him that don't involve a bar.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • he could be just trying to work out the stress of becomeing a dad for the first time. When I was pregnant me and hubby still went out together and had a good time together. We still go out now Our daughter is now four. Just because you have a baby doens't mean you'll never get to go out drinking and having a good time, it just means you can't do it as often.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

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