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What is wrong with me? or is it him?

Latley my husband is not interested in sex. It makes me feel like sh*t. NO he isnt cheating. He does not have time for that. he is only 24 so I doubt hes having issues with IT. It makes me feel like he isnt attracted to me anymore. I dont know what to do. If I say anything he gets offensive. He isnt working any more than usual, or stressed anymore than usual. idk.........its really bothering me, its hurting my feelings.........what should I say or do? any of your men do this? why?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Jun. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You just need to talk to him. Great communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship. Just tell him what you are feeling. He's your husband. You should be able to be open to him about your concerns without having to figure out exactly what to say. Most importantly tell him that it's really bothering you and hurting your feelings. He may just be one of those people who just aren't that interested in sex or he could just be going through a phase.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • OP~ He has always been intersted in sex.........and when I try to talk to him...he gets defensive, and I dont want him to have sex with me "just to make me happy"

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • men worry about things like the future and with this recession maybe he's concerned about the security of his job or how he'll provide for his family if something goes wrong. Read the book Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. It will explain what he's going through.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:38 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • He is Air Force, his job aint going anywhere :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • thats bs. he's military, he can be getting free schooling..working on promotion points....when he gets out have a free degree done. if he's nto going anywhere that is his fault......

    anything bad happen issues....etc etc. that are bothering him. you say he's not cheating.....just to say, the air force has the highest std rates in the military for a reason.....military unfortunately is not known for being loyal.....

    tell him how you feel. if he gets defensive tell him to be a man and listen

    Answer by moki1984 at 12:25 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • You know...he might be bored.

    If sex follows a general routine, he might be bored of it and desire it less often.

    Try mixing things up. New lubes, studded condoms, vibrating cock rings--start small. Have sex at different times of day (not saving it for bedtime) and in different places. Keep it interesting. Give more head. A little head goes a looooooong way. If my man was too tired for sex, he has never turned down a good blowjob. =P

    Be more affectionate outside of the bedroom. Hold his hand while walking. Cuddle next to him on the couch. Touch him more often. Cop a feel in the kitchen. Kiss more. Regularly demonstrate physical affection separate from sex. It may trigger a response.

    Finally, aside from stress, sometimes people just get into a funk and withdraw from life a little. He could be going through a phase. Be supportive and be patient.

    Answer by Mousuke at 2:53 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Maybe he isn't sexually attracted to you anymore. Look in the mirror.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:43 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • OP~ Could he be stressed we are moving? We have to pay for it because we asked to move. We are switching bases with another airman. And NO he is not cheating. AND yes since he is Airforce he is going somewhere. He has all the job qualifications to make damn good money IF he decided to not re-enlist, Seeing he builds Jet engines. Also has an associates degree in criminal justice, and in college right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Honestly this happened with my Boyfriend and I finally asked him about it. It was embarrassing for me, but I asked him straight out have you lost interest or what? I didn't get the answer I thought I would. He told me that he was worried that our emotional relationship, cuddling/ just being together, was getting neglected cause I just always wanted to have sex (I have a high sex drive). I don't know if this is the case with you. I guess I just think you should ask him point blank you may be very surprised at what is going through his head.

    Answer by chrissifaye at 9:28 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

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