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My Brother in Law is driving me crazy!

I have 2 kids, am a stay at home mom and my husband works during the day. Recently my brother in law moved in with us. At first he helped me with the dishes a couple times, but then a month ago he had eye surgery. Obviously I didnt ask him to help out because I knew he needed to heal. But, within the last weeks he has been out in the driveway repairing his car and installing new dvd players. He hasnt helped do any dishes or clean up. I cook and clean for everyone including him (except for his laundry and his room obviously). My husband and I are fighting because I am getting no help from anyone. I understand my husband shouldnt have to do daily chores because he works all day but yet again tonight I had no help cleaning up after dinner and it is making me so mad! I asked my husband to talk to him, but he hasnt and even though I am very outspoken I don't want to start a fight. What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Jun. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Good grief anon 1 48, got a hair across your butt. I think you misread what she wrote or you read it and put it in your own words.OP:Since you are the one that wants him to help out and he should, you tell him and that takes the pressure off of your husband. First your BIL should know better,2nd, he couldn't do that anywhere else, could he?Put your foot down or tell your husband its on him to start doing everything for his brother,he may not like or want to do that.
    PS. i do believe that anon at 1 48 is a man because only men think that stupid

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:46 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Is he paying rent or working? I would talk to your husband first about your concerns and then ask him if he wants to talk to his brother or if he wants you to bring it up. That's fine if you don't think your hubby should worry about it, but it might be easier if he talks to his bro than making you do it and look like a beach. Plus, he's a guy and they have a way of making things less of a confrontation with each other.

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 1:20 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • You could always say "everyone finished with their plate?" after supper and then say "now go put them in the sink and rinse them. Any dishes that aren't rinsed and placed in the dishwasher/sink are going to be put in the trash in an hour.
    Most men aren't that great about helping with household stuff, so seriously you were lucky you got help the times you did.
    Make a plan and move him back out before it causes a rift in the family. Family is more important. maybe you could assign one of the kids each night to help with supper dishes? My 4 and 8 yr old love to help me (I redo what they wash/rinse after, but they love thinking they're helping me and it gives us a few minutes one on one to talk :)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:43 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • so you want a man to help you do all that heavy woman's work huh? Get him a nice apron and cut his testicles off while you are at it. What whiners. Women have been being women for a long time and now in 2009 they think they are too helpless to do what other women have done for so long. Did he sign up to do your chores? Was that the agreement? Is washing dishes too hard for you? Then get a dish washer. Maybe he can wash out your dainties after he's done rubbing you to an orgasm too. Good grief. Such whining babies are on here....he won't help me. Make him help me. I'm too weak to do this all by myself. No wonder your h stays gone all day. He doesn't want to listen to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • LOL anon I bet you Dh bends you over and spanks you when you've been a bad girl

    Answer by MiSSHiSCAMP0S at 1:51 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • its not that women in "2009" are getting feed up its the fact that this poor women should not be put out and care for her husbands kin! She married him and i am so sure that she has no problems cooking or cleaning for him that is her job its her husbands bro that she shouldnat have to care for!
    and i would ask him to pay rent or contribute to the household in some way that way he earns his way! or kick him out?! or shit at least charge him for the labor that you do for him!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • I can't believe you're complaining about a few more dishes.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:38 AM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Actually Anon Bitch and Chrissy it's not just a few dishes that's the problem. It's the fact that he sits his ass on my couch all fucking day, doesnt work because he is "disabled" (notice the air quotes), doesnt pay rent or any of the bills. Meanwhile, all I day I am sweeping, mopping, dusting, taking care of a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old the latter who isnt even mine, laundry, cleaning up after a dog my husband doesnt bother to train, cooking meals from SCRATCH-I'm not talking about rice in a fucking bag-because we are a Latino family and that's the way we do it. So while I am washing the rice 4x in water and making my sofrito the lazy fucker could wash a fucking DISH!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2009