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marriage?

i have been dating this really great guy for a year now. we just had our baby on april 2nd. when i talk to him about marriage he flips out and says hes not ready for that. should i be worried? just a question tho. marriage isn't important to me b/c i feel like we are already there just no rings or paper.

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blue_eyes8501

Asked by blue_eyes8501 at 12:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • then if your happy the way things are then why change them
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • He's not ready for marriage buthe is ready for a baby? Hmmmm.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 1:02 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Why are people ready for a baby, but not "ready" for marriage? I don't get it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Sounds like he's terrified that if things go wrong down the road that he won't be able to escape.. BTW this is what my husband said when I read him the question... SO, from a man's opinion there ya go.
    In my opinion it sounds like you should be concerned and need to sit down and have a good talk. Don't pressure him to get married, and don't make it seem like you are upset with him... just sit back and listen to what he says to you. The best way to find out information is to listen to what they are saying, acknowledge it, and ask what you can do to help the situation...
    momofkearra

    Answer by momofkearra at 1:04 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • You already have a lifetime commitment in your child together. I guess I would be wondering why he flips out over being married. That is kind of like standing in a pool and then freaking out because someone hands you a glass of water.
    Maybe he isn't as sure about this as you are.
    Foster_Mom

    Answer by Foster_Mom at 1:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Well we weren't ready for a baby, it just happened. I wasn't protected and we didn't think about it because the dr told him awhile back ago that he can't have kids because he had prostate cancer. So now he only has one nut. So thats why we have a child together. So i understand if something goes wrong then it would be easier to get out if we wasn't married. that makes sense. I believe him, was just wondering why it was like that ya know. Thanks all!
    blue_eyes8501

    Answer by blue_eyes8501 at 2:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • My bf has the same problem i'm 8 months pregant and he anytime i talk about marrage he flips but part of the reason is he's scared i'll take what little freedom he has i'd try sitting down and talking to him about it tell him why you want to get married and ask him why he dosen't may be right now just isn't a good time if not ask him when will be!
    kat324

    Answer by kat324 at 4:19 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • you should have discussed this before you started a family. many men refuse to get married. It sounds like he is one of them. Don't be picking out the china just yet. Why should he get married when you've already given him everything without the committment? I just don't understand women who do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • I lived with my husband for 7 years before we married and never thought that piece of paper was all that important. I had a child from a previous relationship but my husband for nearly 7 years was daddy. We never bothered with adoption or making him legal guardian we did not feel it was necessary until the day I was in a serious accident and ended up in a coma for nearly 7 months. My parents did not like my husband (then boyfriend) and would not allow him to see me. They also would not allow him to see our daughter. The house was in my name since I had purchased it before we got together and he was evicted from it by my parents. He could not sell a couple joint accounts we had to help him get another place because it required two signatures and my parents were not going to help him. When I woke up and was back on my feet we went and got married and never spoke to my parents again. That paper is important.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • yeah i also have another son who is not his, but to my son he is daddy. So he came to me knowing i did have a child, maybe i just shouldn't rush the thought. maybe it's not important right now. I still have mixed feelings about it all. Should i talk to him about it? I don't want to push him ya know, i'd just push him away then. i liked your answer tho, thanks for your story. I understand why you think it is important and i do too.
    blue_eyes8501

    Answer by blue_eyes8501 at 6:13 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

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