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You Know You Need to Lose Weight...

I'm starting my diet tomorrow and I need some diet humor to keep me inspired.
Please finish the phrase above with something you think is funny.
Here's a few of mine...

You know you need to lose weight..

when you do push ups & your stomach refuses to leave the floor
when you consider tying your shoes an exercise
when they stop asking if "you want fries with that"... of course you do & they know it
when when your nuvaring is too tight
when your panyhose catch on fire from your legs rubbing together
when the back of your neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
when your cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard
when your drivers license says picture continued on the back
when you go to the zoo & the elephants throw you peanuts
when your belly button doesn't have lint -- it has sweaters
when you swear by the Garlic Diet: You don't lose weight, you just look thinner from a distance

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jun. 28, 2009 in Diet & Fitness

Answers (3)
  • omg, that was hilarious!! I needed a laugh.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 6:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • Loved it! Thanks.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

  • you know you need to lose weight when
    your man is horny and has to throw flour on you to find your wet spot
    youre a man and have to stand over a mirror to see your D!#K
    Youre trying to have sex and he sticks it in your belly button instead of the right hole
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2009

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