Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I change?

I am lazy and selfish and it ruining my marriage. My house is a wreck bc I refuse to clean. And I know it seems simple to just do it but I just can't seem to make myself. I am so mean to my husband, I have such an attitude and I just don't know what to do. It seems like the internet is sometimes to most important thing to me over my husband and sometimes even son. I want to change, I want to be a good wife and a better mother. I'm not a bad mom, he is taken care of and I do spend time with him but it could be better. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • wow i thought i was the only one that did the same thing. mI really wish I could help let me know if u get a good answer.
    bear47001

    Answer by bear47001 at 1:08 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Girlie I am in the same situation as you are..I want to be a better person, wife, and mother. My kitchen needs to be cleaned and I can't bring myself to do it. I feel that I am lazy also. Even though my hubby says that he doesn't mind I think he really does and it gets to him he just doesn't want to tell me and hurt my feelings.
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 1:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • (cont)....
    I also have a 23 month old daughter and a son who is 1 month and 4 wks so I'm tired but I feel bad and very worthless. If you ever wanna vent feel free to message me or something
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 1:13 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • make a list of things you need to do. Start with 1) get off the computer
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • you all sound depressed...you will need more assistance with that than what you can get off here...good luck if you really want to change you will make it happen
    ormom1977

    Answer by ormom1977 at 1:38 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Do you want your cildren to grow up in a house that is a wreck?The dirtier it gets the worse it will be. If it gets really bad, health issues could pop up. Do it one room at a time. I am not a clean freak, but, i'm not nasty either. Start in the room that you use the most and pick up some, then go to another one on a different day. After its done you will take pride in what you have.As far as being mean to your husband, why are you like that,do you want to lose him? You may need someone to talk to. For your family you need to fix yourself. Did you know that someone could call CPS on you for the way your house looks? They could say that its unsafe.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:42 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • You are addicted. Get off the computer. Stay off the computer. There is nothing on these sites that is real. We are all just words on a screen. Get off. And don't look back. You will change very quickly.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:07 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I make a list of all the chores that need to be done then I pick what I feel like doing for the day. You don't have to do EVERYTHING in one day, but at least get something done.
    Messy houses can breed alot of nasty germs and bacteria which can be very harmful (ever watch BBC-america show "How Clean is Your House?").
    Plus- people could turn you in to CPS for a messy house. (they don't take kindly to kids living in mess). My nieces' mom got busted for that- and ended up loosing all of her kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I have to say about 3 months ago I could have written this. I was unhappy with me and I made everyone around me miserable. My house was messy, toys all over, laundry needed to be done! So one day I just started doing it. I picked up at night before I went to bed, made set days for laundry (which I hate to do!!) And all other stuff that needed to be done. It wasn't long and it became habit. I just pick up as I go now, before I had to make myself do it. Now I just do it. It takes a good bit of will power to walk away from the computer (so much more fun than cleaning!) But once you set the time to do it, you'll feel better and when you're happier everyone around you will be. Good luck . :o)

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:59 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I'm not saying that I let my apartment get so bad to where it will cause health problems. I try and clean regularly but its hard cuz once I bust my ass on cleaning its messy less than 5 minutes later and I just get frustrated. Like today I'm trying to clean but I can't cuz everytime I start to do something my son is crying and won't stop. And my daughter gets in my way and I get irritated. I started to the room but because my daughter was yelling and screaming I had to keep telling her to stop numerous times and that woke the baby up and now he won't go back to sleep.
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 6:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN