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Taking away the Binky

I have two daughters, ages 2 1/2 and 11 mos. My oldest went a week with no Binky (they only get it for nap and bedtime, anyway) but went back to it when daddy came home for a weekend (he works out of town 95% of the time). I didn't put up a fuss because, well, let's face it, I'm home with them more than he is and I do like to get enough sleep to function, but I really want to get her off the pacifier. Here's the real dilemma: she WILL take her sister's Binky if she wants one bad enough. I know she can go without, but it's like she just gives in to temptation. However, I feel bad taking away my baby's binky! My thought was to have them go cold turkey together when my youngest turns 1 in a month. That way my youngest isn't hooked for too long and my oldest doesn't have access to one. I'm struggling with "mommy guilt", though...is it too mean to take it away from my baby?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • when my dd turned 18 months I just took it away. We tried the night thing as well and it just kept escalating throughout the day! I finally just took them all away and it took 3 days for her to get over. She found one the other day and threw it out! Even started hiding her friends binkies! LOL
    I know the mommy guilt but I'm sure there will be other things like this and the younger you do it the easier it will be! For your youngest it won't matter. My BIL was 3 when they took his away and said it was awful because he had been on it for sooo long. IMO, take it away... it won't hurt her at all!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 1:22 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Thanks, lilmama! I guess I'm just having a hard time with my youngest turning 1 and not really being a "baby" anymore :*( It just seems like this is another drastic step in letting her grow up, lol...it's a totally selfish line of thinking, though! In the long run, I think that it'll be for the best. Btw, too funny about your daughter!!!!!! LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • my oldest was SOOOO a binky baby she was 2 when i finally lost her last one and refused to buy more lol it is hard but its called mommy guilt for a reason u feel guilty she will forget about it soon enough and u will know u did the right thing honey
    lilmammaweisner

    Answer by lilmammaweisner at 1:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I would make them both go cold turkey together! That makes it easier for you. You only have to go through it once, not twice, and the eldest won't have to be tormented by her younger sibling's binkies. I am going to cut lil T by 18 months, I swear!!!!
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 1:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Thanks, ladies :) You're making me feel better. Like I said, I think it's more that I'm upset that she's turning 1 and is starting to walk and stuff...I feel like I'm "losing" my "baby" and the whole no binky thing would just seal the deal, LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Okay I will be the bad guy here and I am sorry but Its because my kids are 15 months apart and they both had their yai yais at the same time. I don't think it is fair to take the baby's yai yai away just because the 2 .5 yr old is old enough not to have hers. why should the younger baby have to have hers taken away? the 2 year old has had hers for a year and a half longer than the other baby. Why shouldn't the younger baby get to have hers until she is 2 and a half? I told my daughter that as she was getting older she had to give it away to a baby that needed a yai yai now. She cried a bit and I let her carry it around for a day or 2 and tossed them. when she got up one morning I told her that I gave them away and now she had made a baby that didn't have a yai yai to be happy because the baby had her special yai yais. Don't take the baby's binky away yet, its not fair.
















    decafsis

    Answer by decafsis at 8:23 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Honestly, and please please please dont take this as being rude or offensive...JUST MY OPINION...I never gave my daughter a binky ever. Because I feel it's cruel to give them something that really does them no good, just to take it away later on. And if you dont take it away they get crooked teeth and everything. So IMO its much less of a headache to not get them hooked to begin with.
    But since you're in the situation you're in, Id just take it. They'll get over it. Not to sound mean...But my daughter is 13 months has never had one and is alive and well! :-) Good Luck Mama!
    ma2b08

    Answer by ma2b08 at 9:39 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I think they do do some good, babies have a natural instinct to suck, and a pacifier helps. I took my kids to the dentist, and as long as there was no damage to their teeth, then I let them give them up themselves. I don't believe in taking binky's blankies, etc away, I think kids will let go when it is right for them. You are doing the right thing, once they are a certain age only let them have it for nap and bed. These are just little parts of childhood, that won't amount to a hill of beans in the end, I would not sweat it. Save your worries for something that really matters.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • There have been studies about pacifier use and it does do them good. Sucking comforts them when they are newborns, and it also reduces the occurance of SIDS.

    That being said, neither of mine took a pacifier. Neither of mine would. But my 4 year old sucks her finger... and I can't take it away...

    My cousin did this cool thing where they gave up all of her pacifiers to the binky fairy where they took pacifiers to give them to new babies who needed them. And she was okay as long as they went to new babies (which of course they didn't, but she didn't know that).
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:06 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Man am I ever happy my son never took one. My oldest had hers until she turned 2 which was 4 months shy of my 3rd child being born. She also took one. The kid in between never wanted one so I never had to deal with this, thankfully.
    Anyway, at 2 1/2 she should be old enough to understand that binkies are for babies. That was how I finally convinced #3 to give hers up. I was having another baby and I told her it was time to pack them up for the new baby and surprisingly she agreed. Every time she found one in her room she would bring it to me to put away.
    With my 4th I decided to take it away before she turned 2 and it was a nightmare. She screamed every night for an hour demanding her "uh-oh". That went on for 2 weeks. It was exhausting for all of us but she finally gave it up. I don't think she was ready but I was tired of binkies everywhere. Good luck.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:19 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

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