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(Spin off of another question) Does you S/O seem to want you to change?

I was reading a question on here asking if your dh wanted you to grow your hair long because he likes long hair would you do it. My question is if your s/o wanted you to change who you are would you? I am in that kind of marrage now. My dh is 50 I'm 30, we have been married for 9 years, but I'm from a completely different generation than he is. He wants me to be someone I'm not. I work nights (5p.m.-9p.m.) delivering pizzas. I like to go to a local coffee shop and eat a bite and play cards (rummy) with friends after work. He and the girls are in bed no harm right? I've been doing that since before we were married. It's my escape, a chance to laugh and have fun. But he sees it as me being childish or selfish. I do this like 2 nights a week if I'm lucky. I'm not our whoring around or anything illegal, just hanging out. Should I change who I am? What do you think?


Asked by luvmygrlz at 3:22 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 30 (42,250 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • He hasn't asked me to change who I am, but he does encourage me to grow and mature, I do the same for him. I do think that it is a little childish and selfish to be going out every week and sometimes twice a week after work. Wouldn't you be upset if he went out with his buddies after he got off work? I know I would not be too happy about that if it happened every week...Now if it's a scheduled thing that he didn't mind, maybe once every month or two that would be different, but to go out every week is a little much for a wife and mother in my opinion.

    Answer by BethTTC at 3:48 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Hell no, if you were doing this before you were married, and have been since you've been married he shouldn't expect you to stop just because he doesn't like it.

    Answer by vgiron at 3:29 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • My husband likes long hair but he tells me to do whatever makes me happy, I cut it short but now growing it out cuz I like it better long.
    My husband is not the kind of man who will tell me I have to change things cuz that's how he likes it, he always tells me to do what makes me happy, but I can't be happy unless I can make him happy I always like my husband to aprove of things I buy, do or whatever that's just how I am.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:33 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • and to answer the other part of your question, my so has never asked me to change anything. Even if i ask his opinion on something he just usually says your perfect how you are you don't need to change anything, but if you want to you can. Its important for you to be happy with who you are.

    Answer by vgiron at 3:39 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Ya i agree with bethTTC. That is a bit much.

    Answer by raemommy at 3:56 AM on Jun. 29, 2009