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If a man does not want to see his child, support his child or have custody of his child should he be forced to surrender paternity to the father who is willing to adopt him?

My 9 month old son's father has never met him nor does he want to. He has never paid child support and is giving me full custody. We are in the court process now, but what I want to know is if he does not want to be an acting father then why shouldn't he be forced to surrender his paternal rights to the Dad that has been raising him with me since his birth. Whatever the judge awards he will default on so I don't understand. the title of father should be revoked.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (33)
  • Well I'm not saying its right that he's not supporting his child but having your parental rights taken away should be a process and not something based on someone's say so.


    Answer by Farrahann at 7:43 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I agree. If I were in this situation, I'd contact a lawyer to find out what the laws are in your state regarding this.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:43 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Some states have laws about abandonment. If the father doesn't support or see the child for so many years (it varies from state to state) you can have his rights revoked, but then you can't get child support. In my opinion, you should take his butt to court for support and just be glad your child has a positive male role model in his life. It doesn't matter if it's biological or even legal in the long run. That's what I did.

    Answer by sbastille at 7:56 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Thank you for bringing up the issue of abandonment. I will discuss it with my lawyer...see this is why I love CM

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Yes. My daughter's father was like that too, never gave a crap about her and only paid child support (2 years after she was born) because the state forced him. Now, I'm married to a wonderful man who I have another child with, and he wants to adopt. I'm pretty sure her biological father will let him, as long as he doesn't have to pay child support anymore he could care less. By my husband adopting, the parental rights of her biological father are waived.

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:37 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • If he is not the birth certificate he has no rights anyway. If he is then you can petition the court about it but since you say he has never met him that would mean he wasn't at the hospital and could not sign the birth certificate.

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 8:56 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Yes it should. I am having the same problem with my youngest sons sperm donor. My son is almost 7 months old and his sperm donor has not seen him or given me a dime. The man is worthless it is sad

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • You should talk to your lawyer about abandonment and Stepparent adoption.

    You could offer to forgo any back child support in lieu of him giving up his parental rights.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 9:01 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • The courts very rarely will terminate parental rights. There first concern is for the child and there are many measures in place to make sure that he will pay. Failure to pay can result in loss of his drivers license, and even possible jail time. Just think that even though the father is not active, your child has a right to be provided for by him. Let the court make the decision. If at a later date you marry the man who is helping you now and want to go forward with adoption then the court would terminate parental rights at that time, but no support would be provided.

    Answer by naneth13 at 9:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • The new man in your life can adopt your son whether or not his biological father has ANY rights to him. I'm sure the specifics vary state to state, so talk to your lawyer about these things. :)

    Answer by srhmldndo at 9:08 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

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