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my daughter has a friend who parents work all day choice not nessecity.granted thats fine but find something to do with your kid.i work pt time.and i think she is going to pond her off on me all summer.the thing is she has her 16 and 18 yr old brothers watching her all day.what does that add up to parties and friends over.i wouldnt even care if i didnt think that if my daughter wasnt going over there that she would be involved whats the answer bring her over just not like that i dont want kids all over my house all day.this child has nothing to do and frankly looks like a total mess.i wanted to talk to the mom about a situation and she said i dont get involved with my kids saw your son smoking weed and have this giant party when they were gone and she doesnt want to get involved.granted i didnt say a word.cause most of us have been there at that age.dont know wha to do??

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Asked by nana77500 at 8:39 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You could call the police when he is doing illegal things. I think you can do so without giving your name. Also, you need some ground rules/boundaries about what you think is ok. They can't pawn her off unless you let them. So maybe you could say something like: "We'd love to have Kimmi over on Tuesdays, and Josie can hang out on Saturdays when you are home from work this summer." Your own child must follow the rules too. Then you have to stick to that. Lots of parents work, and you really don't know if they have to or not so I'd watch your judgement calls. They could have tons of debt and no one knows about it. Regardless, you have every right to monitor your own child and not get taken advantage of in your own home with your own time.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:49 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Well you can't really tell her how to parent her own children. That sort of thing is NEVER well received. Even when it's with the best of intentions. You don't have to let your daughter go over there if you know that there are unsupervised (or poorly supervised) teens around. Just because she's not keeping a close eye on HER kids doesn't mean that you can't watch your own. It's not your responsibility to let your daughter's friend come over everyday, but it would be very kind of you. It sounds like she needs a safe place to go to and she might enjoy being in a more normal household. She sounds like the sort of child who will end up calling you her "second Mom" down the road if you let her seek refuge in your home.

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:51 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I would tell my daughter that she could not hang out at their house. I would explain to her that sooner or later there is going to be an incident there and that the police will be involved. I would tell her that there is such a thing as guilt by association and that if she happened to be there when the police came, she herself could be carted off to jail even if she had done nothing wrong. I would tell her that as her mother, it is my job to protect her and to help keep her out of trouble. I would tell her that she could invite her friend to my house, but she has to ask my permission first. That way, you can only have her over at your place when you are going to be present and can keep an eye on what is taking place when she visits. Having her visit might give you opportunites to explain to her the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Granted, her mom should be doing that, but she is apparently unwilling to do so.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:18 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I wouldn't let my daughter to go to there house, for one. Call CPS if you think the children are not being taken care of properly.


    Answer by louise2 at 9:19 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

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