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how do i support my daughter and me after divorce?

i am thinking to get divorced. at the moment i am a stay home mom. well actually i works 3 days and bring her with me. i am a nanny.
i can;t imagine to leave her anywhere till she goes to school. thats what i am the mom for right? but how will i be able to pay for everything myself after divorce.
i am scarred to make this step.

please give advice

thanks

Answer Question
 
emilyanja

Asked by emilyanja at 9:07 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • hate to be upfront you may HATE to have to.. but its a fact of life.. my husband passed away suddenly and i had to go from stay at home mom to going back to work to support me and my child.. its what you have to do. think of it this way you are providing all she needs by working for it
    preggoinmn

    Answer by preggoinmn at 9:14 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Go get on Public assisstance. If you do not want to stay in the marriage,you will have to put your child in daycare. Weather you like it or not.
    Or stay in the marriage tell your child is in school.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:24 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • why not work more... vs saying going on PA right away...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • i would work more if i can bring her with me.
    but its hard to find a job where you can bring your child along.
    i work 30+ hrs in 3 days and drive and additional 6hrs per week.
    my believe is it that a child needs there mom for as long as possible.
    i don't think kids should be in daycare. but in my case i think she will be worse off if i stay in this marriage for the long run. i am just scarred to do this step and to be needing to put her in daycare. i've been with her since she was born. its gonna break my heart.
    i am not from the us. i don;t know the law here. i worked all my life hard for what i wanted and have, so people, don't give me rude answers as if i am just willing to do nothing! i've come a long road!!!.
    i am honestly searching for encouragement.

    thanks
    emilyanja

    Answer by emilyanja at 9:35 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I am currently going through a divorce and I know what it's like to not want to leave your child in daycare. I have stayed home with my son ever since he was born, and I don't like the idea of leaving him, so I know where you're coming from. I am in school and going to start working soon, so I have similar concerns. What I can suggest to you is don't stay in a marriage you're not happy with, you and your child will be better off in the long run. I don't know how long you've been married, but there is always support you can get from the father through the courts, such as alimony and child support. Although that will not cover all of your expenses, it is a huuge help and the fact that you work 3 days a week I think that will be enough until you're child is older to attend pre-school. Remember it's only temporary until you can work full time and you have to do it for few years, how old is your child?
    helya1105

    Answer by helya1105 at 10:23 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • we all have to do things that are hard on us to survive.. life isnt easy and yes it may be sad but your child and you will both survive. if you need money.. work= money=daycare but you will all be ok
    preggoinmn

    Answer by preggoinmn at 10:33 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • 1. Child Support
    2. Alimony
    3. Get a job FT.
    4. PA to make up the difference
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Could you talk to your employer about increasing your working hours? Or look around for a 2nd job. If you have childcare training- what about looking for work in a daycare setting-- where you can have your daughter there too?
    Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:08 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • she is 12months old.
    and weare married only for 18months.
    but this relationship is very abusive and no hope for change from his side.
    i am so worried to make this step because i have no family here besides his.

    emilyanja

    Answer by emilyanja at 11:58 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • it's definately tough doing it on your own, but not impossible. and remember, the older she gets, the easier it is to take care of her, because she can actually talk. but if you're in an abusive relationship you should get out now, esp since your baby is still so little. you sound like a caring mother and you don't want the negative vibes around her. maybe a friend can let you stay with them for a little while until you get back on your feet? but there's no harm in leaving, and in the meantime you can go to child support enforcement in your city and file so that will help you out some. i had a friend that recently left her husband, and her baby was 8 months! that was about 4 months ago, and she says that's the best thing that she could have done, and she also doesn't have any family here, she's staying with a friend right now until she gets her own place. so there is hope, do what's in best interest of your child, always!
    helya1105

    Answer by helya1105 at 8:48 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

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