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How can I discipline my 11-month-old daughter?

I have a 11-month-old girl who wont listen to us (my husband and I) at all. She screams whenever wants something and wont stop doing that unless gets what she wants, more over, if we tell her not to do something, for instant, not to remove her socks she ignores us and will do it. We tried not to tell her "don't" all the time but encourage her many times when she does good things.

I read Suppernanny's advice about naughty spot but don't know that in what age I can start it? in addition, we talk to her firmly when she does naughty thing, try to stay calm to make her follow the order but it doesn't work. Please help me:(

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NasMoj

Asked by NasMoj at 9:27 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • What she is doing is testing the waters to see how far she can get. This is normal. I have a 12 mo old who when she is told no she stops, but we have popped her little hand in the past for doing bad things. When my DD screams b/c she wants something I don't think that she should have she will continue to scream until she is done, but she won't get whatever it is she wanted. It has taken much patience, but the screaming is now down to a few minutes vs an hour. You might want to start exploring other discipline techniques that will work for your family. My LO tried to climb something that she shouldn't and I tapped her leg a little and she hasn't tried it since. I wish you luck b/c the next several months will be trying your patience.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:33 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Imo opinion the "naughty" spot won't work for her because she is too young. I think that works better when they are two and over. They love to take their socks off. She is not doing it to just be bad. Sounds like what you are doing now is good. If you continue just talking to her and maybe redirect her to something else it will get better. My youngest is 20 months and I feel she knows exactly what she is doing. So when she doesn't listen and keeps doing whatever she is doing at that moment I put her in "baby jail" for a bit, AKA her playpen. She will cry for a minute or two then she is fine. I will ask her if she is going to be good and she says yes. I don't know what she is saying but there has been a few times where she has pointed her finger at me telling me off in her own baby talk then goes off with her arms crossed.


     

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 9:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • As another poster mentioned, at that age she isn't trying to be bad or defiant. She is learning about her world. She is still learning so much and odds are that you will have to choose your battles. The socks for instance, how big of a deal are the socks really? She is learning cause and effect and what she has control over. They have a lot of fun taking off those socks. Your best option is to REMAIN PATIENT... if she wants to do something that is off limits, or wants something she is not allowed to have and she screams then let her scream. Kids do what works and if you cave to her screaming for something even ONE time then the next time she will do it louder and longer because it worked. On the other hand, if you don't cave to it then eventually it should decrease. Good Luck
    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 10:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • You don't discipline an 11 month old. She is just a baby. Just love her, encourage her good behavior, and guide her. This is the age that you start to teach them and mold their behavior through modeling and redirection, but you do not discipline a baby.

    I do time out and natural consequences for discipline. Natural consequences seems to work quite well starting around 15 to 18 months depending on the child's maturity level. Most psychologists don't recommend time out until around 2 years old. It seemed to work well for us starting around 18 months (I only put her in for a minute and a half at that age).
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:06 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • hmm my son is 1 year old and I don't know if its time to "discipline" yet. I say NO when he is doing something dangerous or tries to grab my glasses off my face (his favorite game) then just redirect him. I don't know if timeouts or smacks would really work yet. If he wants something that he can't have he can scream all he wants but it does not work on me and he has pretty much stopped. Basically when he is doing something "bad" but not dangerous (like screaming for something) I just ignore it. I was a nanny for a while and my first job was two year old twins who were spoiled rotten and MONSTERS since I was not allowed to discipline the ignoring method actually worked wonders so even tho I do beleive in discipline at a certain age I now know that alot of bad behaivor is because they get attention for it and when they are acting out if you act like they do not even exsist it does work and I will use that too.
    KatieP.

    Answer by KatieP. at 11:29 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • O and ThrivingMom, in response to your natural consequences remark

    My sister and I were taking her son who was probaly about 2 at the time for a walk and he kept unbuckling and standing up in the stroller so my sister said to him "If you keep doing that you are going to fall out and I will run over you" well he did it again and stood up and my sister just let him, he fell out and she rolled the stroller right over him. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
    KatieP.

    Answer by KatieP. at 11:31 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • She is trying to see where your "line" is and when she crosses it. So all you have to do is let her know where that line is. You might have to tell her 3-5-8-12-34 times, but eventually she will learn. Just stay calm, and when she takes her socks of for the 9th time, just put them back on, and tell her to leave her socks on.
    LilyandEmmasMom

    Answer by LilyandEmmasMom at 11:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Our 14 month old has been really testing the limits lately. The word I live by is "redirection". When he starts to go for something that's off limits, like this lamp he loves to knock over, I take his hand and lead him to his toys. To apply this to your socks example, I'd try placing a stuffed animal in her hands when she starts pulling at her socks.
    Mandarina23

    Answer by Mandarina23 at 11:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • It's summer. Why does your little girl have to wear socks if she doesn't want to? Maybe she's hot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Pick and chose your battles. Why not let her take off her socks? She experimenting with her motor skills. I'm sure taking off her socks are really cool and fun. Try to understand that much of what she does has nothing to do with you, but she's just exploring her world. Try redirection, putting things out of the way that cannot be played with, giving her lots of attention when she's being a good girl, etc. Also, try not to even use the word "no". Practice by explaining (in simple terms) why certain behaviors are not allowed (althought they don't understand now, they will down the road and it gives you time to practice). Use the word "no" only when you really need to get her attention. And quite frankly, if she really can't do what she wants (play with the stove or something) just don't let her do it. Redirect!
    MotherofIreland

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 12:52 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

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