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Separation Anxiety

My 16 month old daughter has MAJOR separation anxiety. I am currently working a few nights a week at the bar here were I live. Last night I was over at a friends house so I just took a shower there before I went to work. When I was in the shower I could hear her screaming for me. Everytime I leave her with the babysitter she goes ballistic and screams for about half an hour. Idk what to do. I feel sorry for my friend that watches her for me because of it but Idk how to break her of it. I'm trying to get a daytime job which means I would be working every day and sending her to daycare. I dont want her to be doing this when she goes to a new babysitter. Any ideas? I've tried just leaving her with people and it doesnt work. When she goes to the grandparents for a week she is okay when she comes home but then after a few days, starts back up. I hate hearing her scream like that.

Answer Question

Asked by agrafel at 10:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (117 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Were you two seperated at birth right away for some reason?

    Answer by Fairy_Wings at 10:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • She is going thru a phase of separation anxiety. It comes & goes SEVERAL times over the first 5 years as they grow in awareness of their surroundings. It would help if you can keep the same person watching her, so that she at least feels safe with the new person. Do they say that she stops after you leave? Ours would go thru this, but my sister would call me just after I left and let me know he had quit immediately. Part of it will make you feel guilty, but if you leave with a smile on your face, that lets her know that YOU and SHE will be OK (even if you go cry in the car, don't let her see you.) She takes her cues from you. BTW, when she does get in day care, they will keep her busy with playing, crafts, napping, etc. It will get better, Mama. Hang in there!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:24 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Just give her to the baby sitter and say "I am going bye bye now" then leave. Try to always use the same baby sitter. My son did this for the first 4 months he was in daycare. He would apparently turn blue after I left but it finally stopped, (then the teacher he usually has went on vacation for a week and he did it again for the fill in but was fine when she came back). It makes it worse the next time if you don't just tell her you are leaving then leave (like saying your leaving then she screams so you stop and go back, just say your going and go)

    Answer by KatieP. at 11:49 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • My son is the same! It is so hard. However, when she gets accustomed to the babysitter and develops a relationship with him/her it should get easier. Maybe she'll even look forward to it. It will take some time, though. My son is fine with his grandma or nana babysitting, but anyone else? Forget it! He still cries when I leave, but they distract him with some toys, put on a music and dance, etc. and he forgets all about me until I get back.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 1:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Also, the first time you drop her off at the sitter or daycare, it helps to come an hour early so she can get accustomed to her settings with you there.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 1:03 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

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