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Spoiled AND Well Behaved?

Can a child be spoiled AND be well-behaved? I think a lot of times that I'm really spoiling my daughter. I usually let her pick out a treat from the grocery store. If we're in a thrift shop, I let her go pick out a toy (and I go to thrift stores at least once a week, so she knows EXACTLY where each shop has toys).

But on the other hand, she's really very well behaved, especially for a 2.5 year old. She says "thank you" ALL the time, asks "please" a lot of the time, and really does share quite a bit. I'm not saying she never has her moments of terror where if I tell her "no, you can't have that" she gets a bit of a tantrum going, but mostly that only happens when she gets really tired. Most of the time when she's doing something wrong, she doesn't need a time out, even. She is told "no" and she stops.

So, can a child be spoiled while still being well-behaved?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jun. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • YES, YES, and YES!

    My 3 year old is both spoiled and well-behaved. There is a big difference between being SPOILED and being a SPOILED BRAT!
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:28 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Their only spoiled if they stop appreciating their privileges.

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 10:30 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • yes.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:30 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • *They're

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 10:30 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I don't think your child is spoiled. :) Indulged, maybe, but if she keeps her polite manner then what's the harm. If she is used to getting a toy every time she goes to the stores, it could lead to difficulties in time. You may want to suggest that she turn in a toy to the thrift shop, or a charity, every time she picks out a new toy, so that your place doesn't get an excess of toys, and so she can consider if she really wants that new toy and to get rid of one of her old toys.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:37 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I was both spoiled and well-behaved. I think it was mostly because the spoiling came much later. When I was very young, we didn't have a lot of money. Most of my toys were very simplistic or homemade. I mostly entertained myself by flashcards my mother made and learned to read by the age of three. My dad had to leave us to work in another state for a while to make more money and we ended up closing off part of our apartment with plastic because we couldn't heat the whole thing. I knew EXACTLY what "we can't afford that" meant from my earliest memories as a child.

    When my dad started his own small business and then became a lead associate of an engineering firm and my parents became comfortable, if not wealthy, they began to take me on vacations, buy me nice things and basically, I got whatever I wanted. I was thankful for everything I had and did not feel like a single thing was owed to me. (cont.)
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 10:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I think it is possible for a child to be well-behaved in most aspects when spoiled. Denying your child a "wish" (and I mean a "wish", not a "need") serves the purpose of them being conditioned to be told "no" and handle dissapointment in life. It doesn't necessarily mean that she won't behave in other areas, however, if she does tantrum when told "no" I could suspect that THAT particular behavior may be as a result from the spoiling. I agree with Bmat's suggestion.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 10:43 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Yes. My friend's 10yo daughter is both. Last summer she was discussing toys with my dd and right out said she was spoiled. Her mom and grandma buy her anything she wants. If her mom won't or can't afford it she goes right to grandma and bats her eyes and grandma runs right out and gets it. She has every toy imaginable and so many clothes some times she only ever wears them once (we get most of her hand me downs and sometimes there were still tags attached to the clothes). But she is one of the most polite and well-behaved kids I have ever known. She appreciates every toy and piece of clothing she gets and never takes it for granted. She doesn't throw a tantrum if she is denied something (which does occasionally happen).
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:46 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • All parents think their kids are "well behaved". Until you deny him/her a toy at the store. Then their tru colors start to show. You just wait and see.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • true**
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jun. 29, 2009

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