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Emotional Cheating.

SO got angry one day. (he is in LA for training). Asked another chick for a picture of her. Despite much grilling, he says he just randomly asked her cause he was pissed. He asked a chick who, to keep it short, I don't want in my life. Nor his. He sent me flowers. I have never been sent flowers before. Then I find out they are guilt flowers. he's begging me to forgive him. And not leave him. He didn't look at the pic supposedly. Idk what to do. How to feel. And you assholes that say once a cheater always a cheater. Thats bs. I was a cheater in other relationships. Both partners were. And I grew out of that. So please, if you've been through something like this, please guide me.


Asked by Sparta. at 4:03 PM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • he screwed up. He saw the error of his ways. Let it go. It sounds like he's beating himself up over it more than you are. He probably scared himself crapless! That's punishment enough. Just tell him to learn from the experience and not do it again. We all get tempted in life. He was tempted and he fought temptation. Praise him for what he does that is good and ignore his screw ups as long as they don't cross any boundaries.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • you mean naked pictures?

    well he didn't ask to see her naked in person i guess. definitely fight and resolve it, but its not something you can't get over. tell him you get to send a picture of you to someone else or ask to see a male friends penis and see how he would feel

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Yeah naked pics. He said as soon as he recieved the pic, before he had even downloaded it(you have to do that on our phone), he realized he had fucked up. We have issues with something I like to do that he freaks out about, Im a hippie mama, :) and I was like, well I want to go do this to make everything better. And that led to please baby dont. He knows he effed up. And After many years of games with other SO's, I am not the type of person anymore to retaliate like that.

    Answer by Sparta. at 4:11 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • He sent you guilt flowers because he felt bad for just asking for the picture, looking at the picture, or he actually "cheated" with the girl? People do stupid things when they're pissed. If he didn't actually "cheat" with the girl, (i.e. sleep with her) then I'd forgive him. But if he actually did something with her physically, then I'd have a problem with that. It would depend on the situation on whether or not I'd forgive him for adultery.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 4:12 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • are you kidding me? you cheated in at least two different relationships "I was a cheater in other relationship s. BOTH PARTNERS WERE (also cheating on you original poster) " and you're telling us what to respond to what you yourself are saying? You obviously didn't learn from when you last cheated partner s or when other s in the past cheated on you or you would know how bad this latest cheating partner is. If you knew that you'd be writing in proud to share how much you've learning from cheating on others yourself and being cheated on by others multiple times.

    Is there a quiet calm place any where you can go even with your kids (s) to get a bit of clarity for yourself to think of for a bit where you are now in life and your kids? Take a phone book with you, maybe the public library even they have story hours, older kids activities and you can write down counsellors names and phone numbers. Care for yr kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Anon. -I am not proud. I was simply stating facts to get everything straight for the people who would like to help. Yes, I have cheated, and been cheated on. But in the physical sense. Never something like this. I do not know how to deal with something like this. I have a quiet place. My home. No one is here but my daughter and I. Like I stated in the question, SO is away for training. I do care for my daughter. Very well. This is not an issue about that. This is an issue of what to do. Thank you for your advice, but it doesn't reflect the issue very well.

    CoolGirl-He sent the flowers because he asked for the pic. He didn't actually even look at the pic. Just asked. That is why I am having trouble with this. I don't know how to handle it, where to go from here.

    Answer by Sparta. at 4:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • If he doesn't know her personally then it's no worse then looking at porn.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:40 PM on Jun. 29, 2009