Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can a 14yr old decide.....

What rights will the court allow my 14yr old DD to have? Going to court soon to get our visitation modified and her dad is going to suggest that she gets to decide when her visits are with him and I've heard of this done before, but, aren't they still supposed to stick to some sort of schedule? Her dad lives 25 min away and I'm not sure her getting to see dad, "whenever she feels like it" is realistic based on the drive. Any thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Most States allow the child to make a decision like that at the age of 14. But it wont just be whenever she wants there will be rules still and things like that

    Answer by HollyRose at 8:07 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • I think that she should have a say in it of course. The judge will want to hear what she has to say so i think that you should allow it and you and her father should hear her out also.

    Answer by raemommy at 8:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Honestly if she is at your house most of the time anyway that will probably backfire on her dad. My parents never went to court or anything, but that is around the age when I started to be more concerned with my social life than my parents. By the time I got a job at 16 I hardly ever went down to see my dad. And when I got the weekend off....I wanted to be out, not with my dad!

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:11 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Ok, that would be fair. My hugest concern will always be, he is 25 minutes away from her school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • If she wants to visit him make it clear he needs to be the one to make the drive and pick her up. And that you should know when and how long so theres no fear when she doesn't show up at home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • that is understandable but if she stays with him over night on a school night it is his responsibility to make sure she gets to school on time.. and sine he lives further away maybe you guys could do a drop off- drop off thing or even pick up- pick up so you know she is getting to school come Monday morning.. but I personally told my father at the age of 9 that I didn't care what the courts said I didn't want to go with him anymore and when he took my mom back to court because she didn't force us to go we told the judge we didn't want to so it was optional and if we wanted to see him we would call..

    Answer by SweetPea102689 at 10:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • My question is why shouldn't she be able to see her dad when ever she likes? He is her father. Either of you should be willing to either pick up from or deliver her to him.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:30 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Chrissy629, he is trying to avoid child support, so this is his way of getting her over there more often so he doesn't have to pay, based on the percentage of time she's there. Make sense now?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.