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Do I keep doing what I am doing?

I am going to try to make this short and explainable which might be kinda hard with not much space to write on this. My sons father had another child a year and half ago and now he really has nothing to do with my son he calls him once every 2 or 3 weeks if he's lucky. I have walked away totally from this man but he finds me and my son really does love him. Well I have some guy friends who grew up with only one parent and they tell me just keep doing what you are doing your son will no what his fathers like and he can never blame anything on you, cause my son will see with his own eyes what his father is like. Oh but the anger,sometimes I want to just delete him from my life but I calm down and realize it's not about me its about (brayden)my son, but I don't know am I doing the right thing. I just want to shield my son from the pain. But I don't want him to blame me when he gets older for not keeping that little bit of his fth

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Asked by shelleymae33 at 10:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • If you try to keep him from him he will blame you. I know its hard to know this is gonna hurt your little one in the long run but he will see what his father is doing. I saw they way my father treats my adopted siblings and brother, to how he treats me. He is NEVER there for me but any of the other kids he loves. He love my kids just not me I dont know why it is. But let your son make his own decision on his dad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • don't let the father make false promises to your son though, but let him grow to see how his dad really is, don't hide things from him, and be honest as possible when he asks you about him, just don't be cruel, or the father will justifiably blame you when your son comes around, and tings could get worse!

    Answer by sophiebethmom at 12:09 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • you just let the fater be involved as little or as much and your son will see growing up what you have done. he won't blame you at all. it sucks when father ruin their kids life,

    Answer by melody77 at 12:22 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I had the same exact concerns too...

    Just keep being who you are and keep loving your child.

    That is all that you can do, and it is true your son will see his father for his worth..

    You be mommy and love him the best you can.

    Answer by Dannee at 9:18 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I'm in the same situation with my daughter.
    Shes 8 now and is starting to realize how her father is. When she gets upset about it---which only happens if he doesnt call on a holiday or a special day I just remind her that she has family that loves her and that its ok to be sad but she shouldn't let it ruin her day. She doesnt blame me or act like its my fault. I have and will continue to answer he questions honestly and not to flower up her dads actions--I'm not cruel about it just matter of fact, she is learning to handle it which is healthy for her.

    I was very angry for a long time...but I decided that I shouldnt let him make me mad anymore--- Good luck...your son will figure it out for himself when hes ready---

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 9:53 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

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