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stays out all night

My husband and I are not doing very well and he has begun staying out all night at a friends house. He only comes home to "babysit" our son while i go to work. He does not work and this has caused a lot of trouble in our marriage. I told him that he is not allowed to take my truck anymore because he stayed out all night with his phone off and left me here with our son with no means of transportation. When he got home we got in a fight and he threw hot food on me and a phone book after telling my 9 month old that his mommy was a cunt. He has told me before that he is cheating on me and then he takes it back and says that he is just trying to get a reaction out of me because he thinks that i do not care.Ive told him that i cannot handle all this and that we should get a divorce. I really just don't know what to do so any advice would help. Oh he also think that if he hits me with something that it is not abuse sinceitsnothishand

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jun. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Leave him. That's unacceptable. It's one thing for you to allow him to do that to you, but you shouldn't allow that in front of your child. It sounds like you deserve way better than him, and with actions as extreme as he's been having, I think it's unlikely to change. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe this isn't what you want to hear, but I think it sounds like this could become more and more abusive as time goes on. He is ALREADY abusing you. He obviously has no respect for you. I wish you the best and hope you're in a better situation soon.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 11:24 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • He probably is cheating and any one who throws hot food at you does NOT deserve you. It is abuse. You could have been burnt pretty bad if the food had been cooking. I wouldn't wait around to see what he throws next. Divorce would be best, because you dont want your child to grow up thinking its okay to treat people this way or be treated that way. If your the only one working then Im pretty sure you can handle being on your own. Good Luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • Hitting you with anything is abuse. And calling you a cunt is completey unacceptable. I think it's worse than a man calling a woman a b**ch. And i dont believe he's only saying he's cheating to get a rise out of you.

    It also not good for your child to be brought up like this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • First word of advice - start stockpiling so you have enough money (in your OWN account) in case you need it.
    Verbal abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse of any kind is just that...ABUSE.
    It sounds like you already know in your heart where this is heading and what it really is.
    Don't let yourself be used. If he really is cheating on you, you don't want him bringing something home and infecting you. More often than not, if he says he's cheating in the heat of anger...HE IS CHEATING. He recants later on when he wants and decides to play nice again.
    Look out for yourself and your child. Also, if he's not coming home, it sounds like he's already decided the relationship is over.
    Plan now. If he lays a hand on you, file for protection and get him out. Don't look back. We read too much in the news about men who are abusive and eventually it escalates to something horrific. Lean on family and friends. Stick with your gut.
    Cantstandya

    Answer by Cantstandya at 11:27 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • well as everyone else said get out. As a child that watched their mother get abused it never stops at the mother. I was hit when she wasnt around to be hit. please for ur son and ur self get away from him.
    Yes it will be hard in the beginning but in the end u'll find someone better and ur son will be a happier boy. Good luck
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 11:51 PM on Jun. 29, 2009

  • that sounds like a bad environment for your son, I'm not trying to bash anyone, but if your son grows up seeing his father disrespect you then who's to say he won't treat you or other women that way when he's older. and as for your husband, leave him and make him take anger management classes before he can see your son again! IMO
    sophiebethmom

    Answer by sophiebethmom at 12:00 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • i would leave and go back home to family.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Ok...first off, you should NEVER be treated like that , and honey...a man isnt going to tell you he is cheating if he isnt, and by the sounds of it, he doesnt have much respect for you...which is WRONG. I say leave him, he doesnt deserve you.
    Lanie_momofone

    Answer by Lanie_momofone at 12:26 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • and why are you sticking around? i know its hard to leave but i would imagine its even harder to put up with abuse like that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I don't think telling a 9 month old that his mom is a c*nt will scar the kid. Stay if you want to be treated like that or leave. You know what abuse is. Accept it or not, it's up to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

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