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Please help im at whitts end part 2

My friend is also his friend and she told me she asked if he wanted to see my son again, and all he said was that he was getting a restraining order *against me, who is not even a threat, i dont even call him anymore* wont even mention our son and his plans. he also said he does not want to see me with another guy.. and was mad when she told him i was going out on a date. I am close to graduating college and of course i feel free and liberated since i can plan my future without him trying to turn me into a housewife and critisizing my parenting when he is never around for his son, or never was. I had to walk on eggshells, watch what i said, It wasn't a good relationship sometimes, but when we were together there was so much love and he was my best friend. i miss him, but fear calling or txting idk what to say even, just want to know if he wants to see our boy. dontwannnasee him w girls either, hes asking everyone out. plz help

 
MickeysMom19

Asked by MickeysMom19 at 12:35 AM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • He cannot get a restraining order without proof that you are a threat or harrasing him. So dont worry about that. Let me tell you, when people really want something they make it happen. So if he hasnt called to see his son ITS JUST NOT IMPORTANT TO HIM. And the reality is, that you sound like a good mother, and as a good mother, your son deserves better than a so called father who doesnt even think his child is important enough to make time for. He will have acceptance from you. The way you get over him is to keep telling yourself that. Realize that if he really wanted you he wouldnt be seeing other girls he would be with you plain and simple. Go watch the movie "He's just not that into you" its got really really good points. Go out join a mommy group with your son so you have support. Get counseling so that you can heal yourself, and keep yourself busy making you and your son's life better and fun.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 9:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • The only advice I can give is, for the both of you to grow up, put what you want aside and think about that baby. You two obviously can't work together, so how can you expect him to be a good father. Leave him well alone, get child support and worry about the little man and not the big one.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:38 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • You got a good future ahead of you with finishing school, I think you should just focus on finishing school taking care of your son and finding you a good job and forget about him, he sounds like an asshole and besides you said it yourself it wont work, so why push your nerves and stress yourself, I think you should just move on. GOOD LUCK
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:39 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • IT does sound childish, and he has been so childish that it has rubbed off on the entire situation.. ive just always wanted acceptance and i stayed with him because i was never accepted as a child with my parents, and i dont want my son to have to grow up feeling that way.. me trying to control a man. IDk what to do, if he gets the protective order, i will look like an idiot, because hes just bitter that i broke it off and that he doesnt love me and thought i cheated. I do understand i need to do whats right for my son, and thats what im doing being 19 and graduating college real soon i will make somthing of myself for him.. i just need help and advice on how to get over a guy, especially one of 2 years u have a child with.. so in that respect how do you cope?? and how do u not pick up the phone when u miss them.
    MickeysMom19

    Answer by MickeysMom19 at 12:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • U think about how unhealthy the relationship was and is for you & your son. Thats how u get over it. Im sorry but ur son's mental & physical well being siould b first.
    ChaoticSoul

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 12:53 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • YOu are right, what i am saying now is.. HOW do i get over it.. i know that my son is first and thats why i ended it.. it was find for a few days pretending to myself that i was mad and the whole me getting child supp. and the nocontactorder.. but i have a hard time not being really mad and mean, because if im not mad and mean, then i feel sad and botherd by it. i was so controlled throughout the relationship that hes on my mind 247 and though i remember the BAD stuff, i keep being sad about the good times.
    MickeysMom19

    Answer by MickeysMom19 at 1:00 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Just focus on other things. Keep urself busy. Before u kno it u will meet some1 awesome & forget all about him!
    ChaoticSoul

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 1:11 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • "HOW do i get over it.. i know that my son is first "

    That last part? Keep telling yourself that over and over and over again. THAT is how you get over it.

    If you had a daughter or a sister going through this, what would you tell HER?

    The guy's an ass. Unless you happen to have a stable for keeping a jackass, forget him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:09 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Ppl don't get restraining orders for nothing. You had to do something other than talk to other men to make his family hate you and want you to stay away from them. I don't think you are telling us the whole story but even with that, you need to move on. That avenue is one you can no longer walk down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Sorry, but if this is what the free and liberated life is like I'll just stick with being a housewife. Thanks for the view.
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:40 AM on Jun. 30, 2009