Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HELP... 11 yr old and period!

So my little sister has had her period for 6mos now. What can I do to help her understand that she needs to keep herself (and her panties) clean? She leaves the same pad on all day and night if we don't stay on her about it, and leaves messy panties on the floor in her bedroom... She obviously doesn't care much for hygeine, she's going into the 6th grade, refuses to shave her legs, wear deodorant, brush her hair or her teeth. Overall, she's pretty much the stinky kid in class, and occasionally wears the same outfit 2 or 3 days in a row! We're not rich by any means, but we're not deprived.. we're clean and do bathe... we've got the washer and dryer to clean her clothes... but she just doesn't care! HELP!

Answer Question

Asked by matobe at 1:09 AM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • ps, she lives with mom and we only see her every other weekend...

    Answer by matobe at 1:09 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • You need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart. Tell her that she won't get far in her social life if she is known as being the smelly kid in class. She won't get far in life if she doesn't care about herself either. I was the idiot that knew nothing about personal hygiene in school and as a young adult.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • She is young to have to deal with that....but she does, so she needs guidance. It may take a while.... especially since she does't live with you all and maybe her mother doesn't teach her????

    Answer by BJoan at 8:03 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • She needs someone to teach her about hygiene. It may change once she is back in school and kids start teasing her because she stinks. Have the doc talk to her about what nasty infections she can get in her vagina because she doesn't change her pad and keep herself clean. And, what they hell is her mother doing? If she is with her mother most of the time, she should be doing something too.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:47 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Ugh. I have a 10 yo boy that's just as bad. Hates showers, no deodorant, no socks (his feet STINK!), dirty clothes. His therapist said, "natural consequences." Which means, you can tell him day and night and if he refuses, he will suffer the natural consequences. i.e. kids making fun of him, etc. Here's what I did, maybe this will help you. I bought him 2 "boys hygiene" books. There are 2 girl equivalent books on Amazon (The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls and The Girl's Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up YOU] There are others too. Make a check list of morning hygiene and nighttime hygiene and post it in their bedroom or bathroom. It will take some time. It's been about 3 weeks for us and my son is JUST starting to brush his teeth and shower on his own. But we're on a really strict routine. Good Luck!

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 12:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • American Girl book is great  Start telling her you noticed how she is growing up and taking care of herself is part of becoming a young woman. 

    Give her the book with a little bag of goodies (bath and body shower gel, razor etc.) Tell her you remember when you were her age and you wish that someone would have given you this stuff and you hope she likes it. 

    Give her time to read through the book and use the stuff.  If she doesnt, check back with her to see if she liked it and then tell her you are bored and you can play beauty shop or show her how to to shave her legs so she can try out the new stuff. 


    Answer by momjs at 9:30 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • wow, ummm my daughters are 9 and8 and i just recently talked to them about peorid i just told them straight from the hip no holds barred . i showed them how to wash out their panties if they have an accident , i told them that their vagina will stink verry badly if they do not wash .i told them about hygene EVERYTHING Idid not hold back because i'm their mom and when the do get their peorid they will remember exactly what i told them . when i read this question my finger pointed at mom... it;s mom's fault because she probably wasn't told about this at an early enough age ... then again .. sometimes kids don't listen to their parents so mabie she needs to hear it from someone else. and if that doesn't work .. well if she get's embarrassed for the things that you stated in your post mabie she'll take more pride in herself but you dont want it to get that far . don't give up she's experiencing a difficult change

    Answer by coffee37 at 9:53 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Good idea MOMJS!! Good point! Ya know Bath and Body Works used to have an American Girl section, with gels and soaps and stuff.  It would be a great idea to make a little gift basket with the books and the cleaners.  But I don't think they do anymore.    Here are a couple links I found for tweens: and     If these are too expensive, then just Target and pick out a bunch of lotions, shampoos, shavers, gels, tween deodorants and feminine wipes and through it all in a cute basket for her bathroom.


    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 11:50 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.