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Honestly, What would you do, if you had Temporary custody of your newborn niece and felt unappreciated???

Last week CPS called me and ask if I would like to take temp. custody of my niece, I said yes, I would rather her be with family than in foster care. My step sister in law delivered June 2, and there where traces of marijuana and meth in their system therefor CPS took them and handed them over to me. Since the day that I brought her home for the hospital (10 days ago) there have been noting but problems. The mother getting angry with me when I let her know whats happening with her child. Not to mention my in laws, my husband and I where so close, and I feel that as if they are defending her knowing what she has done, and treating me badly. My Mother / Sister in law feels as if I should stay home (other than work) and so as they wish. I feel under appreciated and like I made a huge mistake by keeping the family together. Maybe I'm over reacting?
Sorry to vent but any input would be greatly appreciated.... Thanks.

Answer Question
 
misty718

Asked by misty718 at 7:56 AM on Jun. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You did the right thing by taking her kids. I hope you have explained to your family why you did it..After that . Just  ignore there opinions.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:15 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Think of the little one. When she smiles at you she is saying thank you.. Your family may act as though you are the one they are angree at but the should be angree at the mother with her loosing her baby the probley feel bad for her and don't want to feel angree towards her so they put it to you not right. I think you are doing the right thing by taken care of the little one and wish you the best. Try to stop telling them about the baby unless they ask.. Babies are a blessing and it is so hard not to talk about them. Good luck Blessings to you and your family may God help you all threw this..
    mamagator

    Answer by mamagator at 8:17 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I agree that you should just keep thinking of that baby and how much she needs you right now. Try to keep in mind that the mother is EXTREMELY emotional right now. I remember when my son was born by c-section, I couldn't hold him right away and that was the most painful part of the whole process! For get L&D, not having my son in my arms was the worst. So she is probably very stressed out and hurt and upset that CPS took her baby. Try not to judge her and try to be as understanding with her as you can. You are doing the absolute right thing, but try not to get a superiority complex about it. I don't say that to be rude, but I have been in the position and it's hard to keep things in perspective. I'll say a prayer for that little baby and I hope it wall works out for you guys!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I agree, beckcorc, I was in the same situation with my first son- unable to hold him because he was premature and in an incubator. It was heartrending for me when the other mother in the room had her baby brought in regularly and my arms were empty. I believe that these days they have changed this type of practice.
    This baby's mother took drugs, and this may be part of her stress- either the effects of the drugs or knowing, if she is able, that she did something that could harm her baby. As far as feeling appreciated, you are a blessing to the baby, she relies completely on you. You are her source of love and gentleness. And as Mother Theresa wrote "in the end, it wasn't between you and them, it was between you and God."
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:21 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I think the only one who matters at this point is the child. The well being of the child is the only concern I would have. If the mother is not happy with the situation...well she should have made better choices for herself and her child, so she should be angry with herself not you. I would let all the crap fall on deaf ears and concentrate on the child. Stop calling with blow by blow reports, it obviously upsets the mother...frankly I think if she were interested, she would be calling you non stop, I know I would! Having my baby removed from my custody due to my poor life choices would be a HUGE wake up call for me...some people never learn! You did the right thing!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:49 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Well, I have permanent custody of my 4yr old niece, and have since she was 2wks old, and at first I felt unappreciated, but I know that when she is older, she will appreciate me, and thats all I need. I dont give a shit about how her "parents" feel, but getting her first word, her first step, her first kiss, was enough... it made me realize that that was all I needed in life... her.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

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