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What to do when a husband forces "Oral?"

So you hear this story from A friend. She had A possible miscarriage. She's heavily bleeding. She's not herself, sad, depressed, worn out, purely down. Certainly not acting like herself. So her dh forces her into oral. She says no. But he does it anyway. After he's done he gently cleans her up. She goes I said,no. I didn't want to do that, you know I don't like to do that. He goes, I was horny. He kisses her afterwards & rubs her back. As a thank you? He sees it as that was nothing? What can one say? Wasn't he so wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Are you kidding me..
    that man is a piece of


    Answer by Dannee at 9:24 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • It's called RAPE

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:26 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Zakysmommy is right. Woman says no and man does it anyway, its called rape. Tell her to seek counseling so that she can have some support.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 9:27 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Iguess I'm kind of a sicko, but that would turn me on if my SO forced me into oral. But, then again, i like giving it A LOT. She did not have to go through with it, all it would have taken was a light bite down w/ her teeth & he would have gotten the picture. So, with lack of more information, I kind of believe she allowed him to do that. It was never mentioned that she was tied down, or had a gun to her head. She obviously sucked him off, & she did not have to.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Being horny is never an excuse to go against anyones wishes for sex & favors. I agree w/ NightOwlMama, see a counselor to help navagate all of this.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 9:29 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Ladies, what man can truly force oral? It's not like we can't bite the thing off!!
    She's depressed so I'd have a very hard time believing everything happened the way she says. He may have conjolled her, encouraged her, or even talked her into it, but if she actively participated in giving him oral....then it was in no damn way forced. It's not like she's a child, not having a way to say no.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 10:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • YES a woman can be forced to do sexual things even oral. It's bc we want to please but we dont' want to do the act so we end up allowing it to be done. It's the equivalent to date rape, a coercion...talked into doing it anyway whether we want to or not. It IS sexual abuse and sexual assault. She should call the rape crisis center and ask what can be done in her state. She may be able to have him arrested if she wants or at least find out if she can and tell him if he ever does it again he'll be behind bars for doing it and he can get horny in jail and force someone his own size to perform oral. I bet it will be the other way around with several of them forcing him to do it to them in jail! lol Karma. I love it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • isabellalecour - a woman can be forced to do oral. Some men threaten. So get off your high horse and realize the world isn't perfect.

    As to the OP - give your friend a shoulder to cry on and tell her husband off. What he did is 100% wrong and against the law.

    Answer by purpleducky at 11:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I don't know that I agree with the others who say that is was rape...I kind of don't agree with that. If she didn't want to do it, there are ways of getting her point across. If he had it in her mouth, she could have bit him, slapped it, whatever, to get her point across that she said NO! Was she tied down? Did he handcuff her? Or was she just there? There are two sides to every story, and I'm not 100% sure that I'd go along with your friend completely here. Obviously there could be more that she's not telling you. Now, was he right to make her? NO! Did he have the right to shove his penis in her face? NO! the same time, she could have defended herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I agree with Anon 12:46 and isabellecour...I think there is more to this story than meets the eye. All we are hearing is what the depressed friend said...sounds to me like she wasn't really into it but did it anyway, and is trying to make it look like the guy forced her...


    Answer by Mousuke at 7:27 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

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