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Should I become a SAHM?

I currently work full time and I'm thinking about being a SAHM. The problem is we can't really afford to do it. We would have to apply for assistance to make ends meet. I feel like I should be at home with my kids though. Both DH and I work full time and we do pretty well. My kids are 6 months, 3 years, and 7 years.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • If you can't afford it you can't afford it. I always think though where there's a will there's a way. Good luck to you.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 4:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Yes, I think you should. Being a SAHM may mean you don't have all the luxeries you'd have with two incomes, and you have to be willing to sacrifice, budget and cut things to make ends meet. But it is usually possible. I've heard quite a few people say they couldn't afford it, but that's because they want big vacations every year, expensive toys, etc. It's all about priorities, and if being home raising your kids is your priority, well, where there's a will there's a way! You can also do things like sell things on Ebay to bring in a little extra money. Good luck!

    Answer by goldenfox at 4:36 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • If you can't afford it, then no, you shouldn't.

    Answer by KLBrown at 4:47 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Hi, Both my husband and I worked last year and I was bringing in the larger salary, quite a bit larger. I hated giving up our first born to day care (even though we found a fantastic mom to care for our son) and thought about being a STAHM. Like you we thought we would not be able to afford living on my husband's income. Then...I was laid off at the end of last year...and pregnant, due in March of this year. We agreed I would stay home until the birth and then we would see. Well, I have now been a SAHM for six months and both my husband and I love it. This from a woman who was MUCH better at work than at home. My talents did not lie in running a home. I have learned, learned, learned and really enjoy the challenges of being at home. My husband calls me his COO, Chief Operating Officer. LOL The financial decision is a very scary one. We've cut back a lot. The benefits are marvelous though. I'm sooo glad I'm home.

    Answer by yalomsita at 5:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I put my kids first. I will always put my kids first. If that means I go without a trip to applebee's or a pair of shoes or whatever my "luxury" item is, I'll do it. If you truly want to be home, you and hubby need to sit down and make out a budget of what you need to cut out of it to allow you to be a SAHM. As one member said, "where there is a will there is a way". I'm still adjusting to not having my own money coming in, (other than a "side job" which gives me maybe 40-100 bucks every month), other than that my frappucinos and mom nights out are less frequent or gone. But my kids and the house had gotten to a point where I hated coming home at night; kids were out of control and he let them do whatever. I had to put order and stability back into their lives. We do worksheets and crafts and bake and it's so much nicer now. I'm glad I quit. It wasn't an easy decision, but I seriously am glad i did it.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 5:36 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • no dont go get assistance just to stay home its help for people that try not people that wanna work the system gah when can afford it then stay home !!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Staying home, you cut down on other expenses: gas, daycare, eating out. You may be able to afford it better than you think. I put my kids first. There is always work from home jobs available or start a home business to make up the difference.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 8:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • What kind of an example will you set for your children if you quit your job to go on public aid?

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:27 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • If you would have to go on assistance to do it, you really can't decide to do it. That is like jumping off a cliff---it would be irresponsible. You may be able to afford it if you look at your budget....whatever you pay on child care in the first place, the commute back and forth to work, and even clothing for work, etc. Then you can see if you can skip any "luxuries" like dinners out or things like that....But if you honestly can't afford to keep a roof over your head, the power on, and food on the table without your income, then you can't decide to be a stay at home mom!

    Answer by BJoan at 11:27 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

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