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Would You Be Upset?

My dh has been on me for leaving dishes around the house, sometimes with milk in the bowl still or sometimes with the crust of sandwiches still on the plate. It's not always though, I'm a clean person. Anyway, he's been bringing it up for the past few weeks. Then 2 nights ago, he got on a roll about how it was disgusting, how I need to change my behavior and how I'm like his brother who he always thought was a little mentally off. I finally snapped at him and said I had enough. I just haven't been able to get over it yet! How would you handle it?


Asked by preggoandfat at 4:42 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (161 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • EWWWWW on the snot rags...
    Maybe you could say "I'll get up and put my dishes in the sink and rinse/wash them immediately if you'll walk those rags to the trash can?
    I don't know what your hubby does for a living but mine's a brick layer, so he comes in out back door, steps in the laundry room and undresses so he doen't get that sand all thru the house... maybe he has a reason, I'd ask.
    But I'd agree to compromise on the dishes/food and those dang rags and both of you put them where they belong within minutes of finishing/using them.

    Maybe get a jar and when one of you doesn't do it within a certain amount of time you have to put money in there (when the jar is full, take it and donate it, or go out or something as a reward for the times you have done your part).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I'd ask him if it was his time of the month are something. And then inform him that he needs to take a midol because he's becoming a harpy bitch.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Well... umm. I have to agree with him even tho my kids do the same thing. Dairy products especially are disgusting after being left out for a little while. Perhaps he grew up in or dated someone who was a slob and he's afraid that you're going to become that way.
    My personal feelings are food and drinks should never leave the dining area but that's just me. I've found all kinds of things all over the house that the kids have hid or left... and more than once they were covered in maggots and I am totally sickened by those things as well as roaches so yea... I'm with him. BUT he needs to be a little nicer about it and you need to work on picking up after yourself more frequent. BTW, I am not a neat freak and all of my dishes aren't washed as soon as the meal is over, but some people are neat freaks and just can't handle it at all.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:48 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Well I think that is a little disgusting to leave dirty dishes around! He handled the situation wrongly and should not have said what he did about you being like his brother. I think that you need to talk to him about how he handled the situtation and that you need to start picking up the dishes when your finished or dont eat outside of the kitchen. Try and make both of you happy it isnt easy living with other people, but if you care for each other you have to do what it takes to keep him and yourself happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I would have told him if he does not like the way I keep the house clean..He can clean it himself. Shut up and do it your self if you don't like it. That's all I would say..Because that is what I have said to my DH before..

    Answer by louise2 at 4:51 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • i agree with louise2 above. tell him to do it if he don't like it ! :)

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 4:52 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • well, he pretty much called you stupid. I would flip the F*ck out! He can clean too. I bet he is blowing off steam to make himself feel better for being such an ASS!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Agreed to the gross factor. It is gross. But it's not always. It's sometimes. I don't leave it out all day. I put it away before I leave the house! I guess my biggest issue is that he has always, ever since we've lived together, left his snot rags on the ground because the garbage was too far and he takes his clothes off in the LR and leaves them there. That to me is pretty gross and he hasn't shown any interest in doing better when I ask him to stop doing it.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 4:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • That sounds soooo mature Louise. I've yet to find a time when me telling my hubby off helped a situation. If I told my hubby that if he didn't like the way I was doing it, to do it himself I have a funny feeling he'd throw out all of the things that were the problem.
    Besides, why should HE clean it up when SHE leaves the food laying around? Milk left out? Come on, get serious here, what would you do if your child left out a glass of milk? If it spills on carpet it's going to sour and stink the whole house up (had some dumped in my car and let me tell ya, took several steam cleaning sessions to get that smell out).
    Work together, cooperate OP and it'll work out. Don't listen to all of the ones that tell you to treat your man like crap cause that's never going to help a situation.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Thanks Lisa Ann, I like that suggestion. It's likely he'll be the larger contributor - he's always got snot rags around his computer and around the bed. LOL. But it'll be a good way to show we're both working together. Thank you!!

    Answer by preggoandfat at 5:06 PM on Jun. 30, 2009