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My 13 year old pot head?

Okay. It might be to soon to call her a pot head but last night she came home late and I could tell she was obviously stoned. I'm shocked and super disappointed because she's always been so good. I never thought for a second that she would do this being as young as she is.
I sent her to bed and haven't talked to her about it because I'm afraid that I'll explode, and don't want to ruin our relationship, or turn her away from me.
How is the best way to handle this?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You have every right to explode! If your 13 year old is doing drugs, and YES pot is a DRUG no matter how many of you other moms want to cherry coat it and make it seem like its not, you SHOULD be very upset! If I found out my 13 year old was smoking pot, oh man, he would not see the light of day for a very long time. It is illegal and she could get in big trouble if she is caught, not only with the law, but if it starts to escalate to her buying it or selling it herself. I would just confront her and tell you that you know what she did and that she is in big trouble. Demand that she tell you when, where, who with, and how she smoked it and then ground her. No more going out with whatever person she was with, no more doing ANYTHING for awhile, except for going to school, and make her do chores around the house so that she just can't sit around. At least that's what I would do. She'll thank you one day for giving her boundaries.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 5:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I would say talk to her, don't freak out on her. I know that's going to be hard...I'm not looking forward to teenage years! However, I was a 13 year old pothead, and I was always more open to my mom talking to me like an equal rather than a child....even though there is no equal in there. I would pull any information on marijuana and drug abuse/addiction that was relevant and let her see it for herself. Good Luck!


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Give her a drug test......they sell them at Walgreens...(a little expensive...but worth it) that way she cannot deny it. Then I would talk to her.....when you are calm....I know its hard...*hugs*

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Talk to her without exploding. My friend's daughter is 14 started with pot...then honestly within a month of when the mom found out she had tried Ecstacy, alcohol and had sex with 3 guys.

    An altered mind state can very quickly lead from one bad decision to the next. You need to find out who she is hanging out with to do this and nip those relationships in the bud. This is a good time to make her VERY BUSY... with a sport, volunteer work, church group...ect. If she is intent on doing drugs there is only so much you can do, but definately talk to her about decision making and that "you want HER to make good choices bc she has to live with any consequences"

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • What was she doing out at night at age 13? Who was she with? I would make sure she never saw those people again. She would also be spending every night at home...for a long time. At 13, there is NO reason for her to be out by herself at night. Or day for that matter. She's to young to be 'hanging out' anywhere except another friend's house and only then if supervised. Teenager doesn't automatically=all access freedom.

    Answer by mizkaye at 9:24 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Besides the fact that this is illegal, marijuana can cause brain damage in teenagers.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:34 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Not everyone who tries pot goes on to other drugs. I have smoked pot for a long time, and thats the only DRUG I do. POT smoking does not cause BRAIN DAMAGE.

    How you deal with it, depends on what type of relationship you have with your daughter. Have a plan and have a discussion. Decide what the consequences of her actions should be. Sometimes a calm discussion outlining the problem and the consequences works much better, than screaming and threatening does. Teenagers are a odd breed, and no two are alike.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • You need to stop letting her run wild and encourage her to find new friends. I have a 13 year old daughter and she just told me about some of the kids she goes to school with who are now smoking pot, this did not surprize me because the kids who are doing this come from dysfuntional families whose parents let them run wild. These kids also come from homes where parents are divorsed and only seem to care about themselves. The best advice from me to you is Don't Let Her Hang Out Wtih These Friends Anymore.

    Answer by staceynoel at 10:02 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • One more thing. you might get some people on this site who will tell you that pot smoking is not a big deal, there are a lot of teen moms and idiotic parents on here. Pot smoking is just the beginning of more bad behavior. I was talking ot the counselor at my daughters middle school and I mentioned that certain kids are now smoking pot and she said that these kids are doing way worse than that, things with boys, like oral sex.

    Answer by staceynoel at 10:06 AM on Jul. 1, 2009