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so stupid for staying but i love him....

hey ladies! ok i'm a 20 year old mother of a 17 months old. I am getting married in august. My fiancee is in the navy ( A school) and he has cheated on me in the past. Well i found out that he had a girlfriend through Aim because she had wrote to him so at the time all i could do was text him so i wrote to him that it was over and all that crap. On mothers day he wrote to me saying that he loved me and that she was not his girlfriend!?? he did say that they went to the movies with my daughter's godfather and that he kissed her but it was a "little" kiss and he wanted to tell me but he couldn't find the courage to tell me. As of now he broke it off completly with her doesn't even call her or anything. We both decided to make it work and be completly honest with each other and he is changing. He hasn't slept with another female he did those cyber chaeting (exchanged photos, number) not that its any better....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • i just started reading a kiss is more sentimental than just sex to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • IDK.... in my life, "once a cheater, always a cheater" has always rang true.

    Good Luck to you....
    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 6:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I think you are making a huge mistake! How can you say you love him when just by this post you don't seem to value yourself as a woman who deserves better! Are you sure it's love? I thought I loved "him" too. Now that I have learned to love myself I realize that's not what I felt. You are being very foolish. When your child is old enough to figure it out it could get embarrassing, not to mention you are setting an example of how a relationship is supposed to be for your child. Things probably won't change, if he didn't do it for your child 17 months ago why do you think it's different now? No offense I just think you've got the wool pulled over your eyes, pull it off !
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 6:47 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • My bf cheated on me before a few years ago. RIght now, we are stronger than ever. A cheater isn't always a cheater in my case. It actually brought us closer together.. to evaluate our relationship and than work on it. As much as I hate that it happened.. it did help us
    starmoonlight

    Answer by starmoonlight at 6:48 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Yeah but she says he's cheating all over the place, not just a one time thing! Hello! On the computer, and in real life! How is that supposed to stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I'm not arguing with anyone because you ladies are right! its hard for me to just leave him. me and him been together for 3 years we knew each other since 9th grade. This guy even cried in front of me and he NEVER did that to another female. The only female that seen him cry was his mom. The crazy thing is his father cheated on his mother and they were together for 21 years and he hates his father he always said that he will never be like his father and that he will take care of his baby. I know that he loves me because he would do anything to make me happy and he always talks about our family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Wow.. did I tell her to stay with him.. let me re-read what I typed.. umm no. I just gave a very short summary on what happened to me and what I choose to do. If she wants to take the risk of getting hurt again.. than she can.. she knows deep down that it can happen again. She can maybe figure out what it is going on where he's straying 'all over the place'.. maybe there's something missing in the relationship or maybe he's just a jerk that will never be happy with just one girl. Whatever the issue is.. she does need to figure it out before they get married so she's not spending god knows what in divorce.

    starmoonlight

    Answer by starmoonlight at 7:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • OP... there is a group on here called 'Still love him'.. awesome group.. awesome advice.. just in general.. AWESOME...
    starmoonlight

    Answer by starmoonlight at 7:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • no he lnly did that computer cheating thing he never physically had sex with another woman i'm sure of that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Well make sure you find out for sure.. there is risk of STD's if anything ever happened sexually with another woman. Try to find out what led him to do any of it.. the talking.. pictures.. the kiss. You don't want to regret staying with him later on down the road. Join the group though.. it is great.. i take breaks from it though.. some posts bring back memories and make me spiteful so i'll take a small break and join back in in the discussions.
    starmoonlight

    Answer by starmoonlight at 7:06 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

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