Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Oh my SIL....I feel sorry for her, but MAN, get up and outta there!!!

She called me today crying and told me that her dh had come home so drunk last night that he peed on their 2 year olds bed and walls.

The 2 year old was standing right there watching him and said "I pee pee too daddy?" how gut wrenching is that.

I told her for the millionth time to get out. He also verbally abuses her when he is drunk, calls her every name in the book.

He does this at least a couple of times a week.

When he is sober, he is the coolest guy, why is it so hard for people to see they are ruining their lives?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I was that person. My ex used to come home and pee in his shoe or in the liter box. He's puke in the middle of the floor or all over himself. He almost peed on me once. Sometimes you are so clouded by the fantasy, that you refuse to see the reality of the situation. Eventually he escalated from being just controlling and verbally abusive to hitting me and swinging at me while i was holding my son. But the moment that changed it all.............my son's 2nd birthday, he came home plastered, and we didn't have money to get my son gifts for his birthday (that's what he told me anyway, before he showed up drunk). At that point I never looked back, I walked away and kept walking. He's now in jail.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 9:41 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • its hard to walk away... its like giving up on the dream of having that happy white picket fence life. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to make her "see the light". All you can do is support her the best you can when she needs someone to talk to and encourage her to make her own decision about what is best for her and her son. But, be careful... if you push her too hard to leave him, you may just push her deeper into isolation with him, and that is not what you want her to do...

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 9:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • OP here: I invited her over to swim tomorrow so she could let off her steam and talk it out.

    I just wish she could find a guy who was GREAT and loving ALL the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Keep encouraging her to leave. Use what ever you think will work. remind her that her son is watching this and is learning it all. Verbal abuse eventually turns into physical abuse. Just because he's drunk when he does it doesn't make it okay that he doesn't when he's sober.
    My MIL never left her abusive husband because she thought she didn't want to be a burden on some one if she asked for help. Offer help or places she can get help as much as possible.
    litlsuzzy

    Answer by litlsuzzy at 9:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • im telling u now i was that girl just last year...i was with my ex for 5 years everyone kept telling me the same just leave him he isnt worth it...it wasnt intill he started hitting me that i thought of leaving him and even then it took me 2 yrs to get the nerve to do it. she will leave him whenshe is ready...with u harping on her is probably just makeing things more tense b/c now she nows ur right but she wants to hold her head up high. i would say anything about what has happened unless she talks about it first and then i wouldnt give a opion but i would be there for her to talk to shes a big girl she knows there is a better life out there somewhere she just has to get teh courage to go look for it
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:04 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.