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Dating scene and religion

I am a single mom, and have been asked out. I am really considering going out on the date, but there is a small problem. I am athiest, and I have very good reason to think he is very christian. He seems nice and it really has not been brought up, but I am very nervous about how this could turn out. If (or back when) you where single did anyone else run into this? Does it ever end ok? Is it ok to just go out see where it goes and not mention it until there is some reason to bring it up?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (8)
  • I wouldn't be so concerned about a first date scenario with people of different beliefs.

    But, it is an important discussion for the two of you to have if you start to build an actual relationship. I've seen the outcome in couples like this go all sorts of different directions. For some it's a reason to stop pursuing the relationship, for some one of them converts to the other's beliefs, and for others, they build a relationship with the differences.

    There's no sure way to predict which would happen for you. But for a first date, just have fun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • It is a date, not a marriage.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:30 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • True I am just worried if I am not up front with it he will feel betrayed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I think if it doesn't come up he doesn't have any reason to feel betrayed, or like you hid it or anything.
    As long as you're not pretending to be Christian when you're not (which I know you wouldn't do) he shouldn't have any reason to be upset. Just take it as it goes, and cross that bridge when you get there. Who knows, after the first day you may find you don't really care for him and that will be that - or you may find that he really cares for you and religious affiliation (or a lack thereof) doesn't matter to him. You'll never know until you get there, and I wouldn't worry about it before you do.
    I mean, though, if it does bother you, you can always be up front with him and ask him if your being an Atheist bothers him... But I don't think that would/should matter on a first date.
    Go, have fun, enjoy yourself, and don't worry!

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 10:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • this happend to me to. Except its the other way around. My babys daddy isnt a christian and i am. It is hard to deal with not for my sake but for my babys sake. It shouldnt cause you any problems but if you want your child to grow up one way then it may be difficult.

    Answer by cumminsoonindec at 10:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Chrisitans are asked to not marry non christian I know. Only because it causes turmoil in the home. But does he know you're an atheist? If he's ok with idk if it will lead to marriage BUT if he is willing and you're willing to not force the kids to not hate religion and tell them how stupid it is you should be fine :)

    Answer by rhanford at 11:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about it. It's only a first date. Heck, some people don't even mention they are a single "mom" until after the first date.

    Answer by sheriskidmore at 11:29 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I'm a pagan witch, my husband is christian. Does it cause small issues now and then, sure, but what's life without spice? Personally I always give people in your situation the same advice I always followed. If it worries you, put it out there. Just say to the guy "Before we decide if this is something that could ever work I need to let you know where I stand, I'm not Christian. I know that many people don't believe in dating outside their faiths and don't want to ruin a good thing later down the road because of this." Most men with respect the fact that you were willing to even bring it up. It may mean that he doesn't ask you back out, but if that's the case you didn't want him to anyway. On the other hand, I NEVER for a second hid the fact that I was a witch from my DH, we talk about religion once in a while, and on very rare occation it causes issues, but love gets us past it in the end.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

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