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Would you let him in during labor and delivery?

The guy who got me pregnant played with my emotions and has never gone out of his way to help me out through this pregnancy (it's my first). In fact, he hasn't been there for me this ENTIRE time. My friends and family have been the most supportive, and helped take care of me. I believe he has not earned his way in the L&D unit when this baby arrives. I know he's gonna wanna be there. Can I tell him to get the F out and that he can see the baby when I'm done and settled in??? (Can you tell I'm upset lol.)

 
IheartWyatt09

Asked by IheartWyatt09 at 11:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (27)
  • It is completely up to you what you want to do. As far as the hospital staff is concerned, they won't allow anyone in the room that you don't want in there...even if he is the father, YOU are the patient and your wishes are the only ones that matter to them. Personally I think childbirth is a very special and magical experience that you won't ever forget, so if this guy has been a scumbag to you for these past 9 months but still thinks he should be able to experience something so great as to see a baby being born, than I would tell him to kiss my ass and that there was no way he was coming in there. That is me though. A real man stands by your side throughout those 9 months, as hard as they may be, and EARNS his spot in Labor and Delivery. Just because he is the "father" doesn't give him a right to be in the room when his baby is born. And this guy sounds more like a sperm donor to me than a real father or man for that matter.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:35 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • You want this to be a memorable experience.

    I know this is a little different, but my mother and I don't see eye to eye. At all. So I didn't even call her when I went into the hospital. I knew all it would do it cause stress and ruin my good time. I called her a couple days AFTER I got home from the hospital.

    I suggest you do something similar. This should not be stressful for you in the slightest.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:52 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't let him in there. Check with your hospital. At my hospital I always fill out a form where I can put who I want in the room and who I don't want in the room. This way the nurses and the doctor know and they can tell him he is not allowed. You don't have to worry about it if he tries to come in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • You are the patient so you get to decide. Labor and delivery is not a time to worry about hurting someone's feelings, you are going to be in no condition to do that anyway.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 11:55 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • baby daddy or not, YOU choose who is in l&d with you. That is the most important time for you to be as comfortable as possible and you need to be able to concentrate on yourself and the baby. I think a good compromise is you can call him when you go to the hospital, possibly even let him see you while you are in labor, and then make him wait out in the waiting room for the rest. If he really wants to see the baby born, take a few photos of the baby right after the birth.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 11:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Do you really want him stressing you out while you're in labor? Also, even if there was a chance for you two in the future, it could have a bad effect in your sex life later. I let mine cut the cord and he looked down. I've never recieved oral since then!!! LOL Think about it.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 11:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • Yeah, I would like to be in a super relaxed state. I'm wanting to attempt a natural birth. And I want it to be a positive experience. I just don't think that will happen if he is there. I'm in no way denying him rights to his child. He is after all the dad, and if he wants to be there for the baby that is fine. But I believe in L&D thats time for people to be there for ME...
    IheartWyatt09

    Answer by IheartWyatt09 at 12:01 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • He can be there for his child when it is all said and done. Right? Is that reasonable?
    IheartWyatt09

    Answer by IheartWyatt09 at 12:04 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I'd just go in with my friends and family and have the baby. I wouldn't call him until everything is done and I would give the child my last name and not list him. Later on down the road, you can decide if you want a guy like that in your babys life. I wouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • The LAST thing you will want in L&D is someone that bothers you to be there. So I say no. No no no not a good idea at all. It can be trying sometimes in delivery, you don't want your sperm donor in there making it more stressful. Find a good support person and don't call the donor until the baby is out.
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 12:31 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

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