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Your Parents...How do you do it?

My parents live 10+ hours from me (they moved that far, I live in home state). They are always talking about me bringing my daughter down for a visit and always complaining about how she won't know them and how they miss her, etc., etc., etc. However, they never want to come up here. It's always one excuse after another after another as to why they can't come. I am all for doing the "every other" thing, but that's not working. In the past 12 months, I've been there twice and they haven't been here once...but yet are still yelling for me to visit them again.

If you live far from your parents, who does the traveling? You? Them? Split?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It doesn't matter how far you live. If you are able to visit and you want to, do it. If you can't, don't. You can send cards, photos and eventually, your child can too. Let your parents know you love them and you understand they would like to see her more. Invite them to visit and give them some time slots you would be willing to do it. If they make the excuse again, let them know they can call anytime to schedule a visit. When they gripe in the future, say 'When do you want to schedule a visit?" Just repeat it over and over. Eventually, they will knock it off or come visit.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:46 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • my parents live n the next town over, mabey a 15-20min drive and they wont come see us and get mad bc we dont want to take our newborn over there bc my mom smokes way too much-in the house. She complains Ethan wont know her yet she cant come see him. Hes 8weeks old today she hasnt seen him since the day he was born! My dad & 2siblings have never seen him!

    Answer by EthansMommy5 at 12:52 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I would flat out tell my mother that you can come see my kids too ya know. I don't have to bring them to you all the time. You wanna see your grandbaby, then get your ass up and come see her/him.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:56 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I've lived in Md for the past 6 years my family lives in Ky. I only visit every 6months for about a week . I do send my kids for a month out of the summer so they can visit. I made it clear if they want anymore time than that they will have to make the 12-15 hour drive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • My parents live 3 hours away and we normally take turns.If i lived 10 hours away my parents would probably come up to visit because a 10 hour drive is a big hassle with a baby.

    Answer by Dylansmom32509 at 1:04 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • My mom lived in the same town as me but my dad lived far away. He never asked me to take the kids to see him. He came to us. Your parents are selfish. Tell them no, that it is a hardship on you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:36 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Who has more room? Who can afford to feed all those extra people for a few days? The other one should do the traveling.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:51 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I live about a 7 hour drive from my mom (I'm actually at my mom's now, travelled down yesterday).

    It's a pretty even split.


    Answer by beeky at 7:55 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • My in-laws live on the other side of the Atlantic ocean so we don't get to see them that much but we are planning on flying over there in March for their 60th anniversary.


    Answer by beeky at 7:59 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I'd remind them that YOU have already made trips to see them, and now it is their turn. Let them know that traveling so far with a child is not easy and if they want to see the grandchild they will have to come to you.
    My Aunt lives 10 hrs away from her daughter and only grandchildren (2yr old and 1yr old). She says that so far she and hubby have been the ones doing the driving up to the daughters house to see them. Although now that the girls are getting a bit bigger she hopes they will visit her at Thanksgiving. She also stays in touch via webcam-- and the little ones get to 'see' granny on that.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:16 AM on Jul. 1, 2009