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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...

I left my husband when I was 7 months prego. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and couldn't support me. he got a girlfriend a month later and she moved in a month after that. Now that I'm a single mom and i know i deserve better, i'm having a hard time accepting the things i can't change. He still hasn't come to see his daughter who is almost 5 months old, and is taking his girlfriend to our mutual friends' houses to show her off. It makes me so angry all I can do is cry. Is there any advice out there on how to be a stronger mom for my daughter and how to move on with my life?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • This is an awful thing you're enduring and people can be vicious and cruel. It's an excruciating lesson but this too shall pass. This crap he's gotten himself into is on him and not on you. You can only mourn the loss of him for yourself or your daughter and that takes time. Then, let it go. You will find love again and when you do, it will sting for him too but at that point you actually may not care. One day, there is a chance he'll look back and be appalled by his actions but for now, you have to manage the cards you've been dealt. You will be a stronger woman for this and next time hopefully demand more of your partner. Love yourself, respect yourself, you deserve it.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:48 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I'd start with a divorce and hit him up for child support. Then I'd get a job or go to school and better myself so I could be a good mom. I had three kids and was a single mom. It's not easy but you get busy with the kids and thoughts of dad sort of fade away
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:34 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Fake it 'til ya make it. Find some counselling to help you work through it, set goals and start living your life again. You and your daughter deserve it. You need to get unstuck from the past and look at your bright future without the slug. Aren't you both better off without that abuse? It is hard to do, but balancing your life is essential to moving on. Who is there for you emotionally? Socially? Give yourself a year to feel better about it and keep going. It is a big loss and you are still attached by this child so it will take alot of time and effort but you'll get where you deserve to be.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:41 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Oh, and praying that serenity prayer in the morning and at night, isn't a bad idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Girl i am so sorry to hear that what yu need to do is contuine to be strong not just for yur self but for yur little girl. Fuck your boyfriend and letl him have his fun because he will have to answer to god. I know that it hurts just pray and take one day at a time. remember it is his lost not yurs. Keep your head up and contuine to be strong. We as women should know once we get pregnant that baby is ours weather the father is around or not
    red111

    Answer by red111 at 9:40 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

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