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for the sahm's with lil girls who throw fits

ihave a 3 yr old and she throws fits over everything like if i dont do something exactly right, if i say no to a snack right after a snack if i tell her not to do something, she will jump up and down and scream. she throws fits in public and i am so frustrated with it well today my husband says take her to the park or do something fun and i feel like she shouldnt be rewarded for the way she acts and if she cant act right at home then she shouldnt be out in public but my husband feels bad for her that she might never get to go out and i told him if he want6s to stay home with her and deal with it he woud feel completly didfferent does anyone agree with me or should i take her out and deal with the fits in public?

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babykins362003

Asked by babykins362003 at 12:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well, I am no longer a sham, yes i work full time right now, but because i have too. Don't see how that affects any advice,

    The behavior persists because you have allowed it. The second, that she even starts whining or crying, take her to a chair away from all activitiy, and make her sit there. Only allow her to come out till she is done throwing a fit, and agrees to calm down and follow directions. If you are out, find a bathroom, go into a stall, and make her stand with her nose to the wall till she stops and calms down, the second she starts acting up, go back. If you are at the park, then make her stand faceing a tree away from the other kids till she calms down. The key to this is to stop the behavior before it becomes an issue, ifyou know that her attitude is going to lead to a fit, then right there and then its time for a time out. You need to modify the behavior, she needs to learn to experss her self...
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:58 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • without melting down. I get not wanting to reward her, but taking her to the park works well on so many levels. Using that pent up energy on a daily basis will help calm her behavior, and seeing that even at the park, you will still have the same expectations and consiquences helps reafirm that you are the authority. Once she becomes secure in knowing that discipline is consistant, and understands what is expected of her, she will be easier to deal with, and generally more happy and emotionally healthy. Kids will push rules in different enviorments. So not taking her out till she behaves, just won't work. She needs to know taht no matter where she is, mom and dad have control, and that rules dont change, and discipline is the same. She needs to know what is expected of her in each situation.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:02 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Postive interactions (like trips to the park) and consitency in discipline are the two main things for good behavior. She needs both and she needs more of the "thank you for doing as I asked" positive interactions than the "sit in time out" type.

    Use the trip to the park... "As soon as WE pick up your toys, we can go to the park." Yes, you have to help her, to direct what she is to pick up, and to keep her on task.j

    Try the book "1, 2, 3 Magic". I agree, it's hard to deal with a young child's demands day in and day out with no break. A simple, straight-forward method like this one really helped me.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 4:11 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Not a SAHM anymore either, but I was for years.

    Boredom can lead to more fits than anything. A child needs activities. One of the most difficult things I dealt with as a sahm was finding things for the kids to do. And, since I am assuming she is an only, you NEED to go out and let her throw a fit. This way, as soon as she starts to cry its, "uh oh, I guess we need to go home now. I think you may need some rest time" and head home. She WILL get the idea that pitching a fit means leaving.

    At home, pitching a fit has to have consequences. "No you may not have a snack" she starts crying, "I know you are mad, but you may not have a snack, now if you want to continue crying, you may do so in your room, OR if you can control yourself we can play with your dolls". Let her know that crying is only one option, and not one she has to use to get attention.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 8:56 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • When our 3 year old throws those fits at home, we get down to her level, tell her that is not how we behave, then a timeout. She knows she stays in timeout until she is calm. In public if we are at a restaurant we take her to the waiting area or bathroom away from people who are trying to have dinner and tell her look we do not behave this way and if you continue to we will go straight home. IN a store or mall I stop right we we are no taking her away and tell her the same thing. She usually does pretty well though.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

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