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help me with my dd

ihave a 3 yr old and she throws fits over everything like if i dont do something exactly right, if i say no to a snack right after a snack if i tell her not to do something, she will jump up and down and scream. she throws fits in public and i am so frustrated with it well today my husband says take her to the park or do something fun and i feel like she shouldnt be rewarded for the way she acts and if she cant act right at home then she shouldnt be out in public but my husband feels bad for her that she might never get to go out and i told him if he want6s to stay home with her and deal with it he woud feel completly didfferent does anyone agree with me or should i take her out and deal with the fits in public?

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babykins362003

Asked by babykins362003 at 12:55 PM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Stay home until you feel like you trust that she'll behave. Consider her on time out (sucks that that includes mommy,too.) Mine have learned that we go home if they don't act right.
    hermajesty2

    Answer by hermajesty2 at 1:14 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • My 3 year old was exactly like that (He was later diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar). It's really tough with a 3 yo. You need to discipline them immediately. Not hours later. Taking her to a park hours later has no effect either way. She doesn't have the capacity yet to connect the "not going to the park because I did something bad hours ago". The "time out" IMMEDIATELY after the misbehavior really does work. Its tough in public. My son would scream and throw himself on the floor at the mall.. ugh it was dreadful. 1st, when she does behave, praise her - "What a good girl you are for being so nice" - 2nd, before you go out, stoop to her eye level and tell her the rules and the consequences of breaking them - "If you do this, you will spend 3 minutes in the corner or we will leave the playground". 3rd, at home, ignore the behavior, put her in time out and walk away. Tell her when she behaves you'll talk to her.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 1:17 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Have you tried spanking her and explaining that as her mother, you cannot tolerate that kind of behavior?? It's the best way I know to convince a little child that she is not the ruler of her universe. It's quick and the results are amazing. Once you have established with her that you are in authority, and that when she doesn't mind her mother, there are immediate consequences, you will be able to take her anywhere you want to go with the assurance that she will behave herself.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • eventually she will grow out of this, it has to start with you/dad re-teaching her, she learned some where along the way that throwing a fit get's results. what you should do is take her out, if she acts out, pack up everything and go directly home, explainning that because she had a fit that we have to leave!, and each time she does this fit thing take it away, make her see that having a fit won't/don't work. children was taught this as an infant, they cry, we come running to see what they need so that has grown in her, you just have to re-teach. and talk to her and be clear, explain that that behavior is unexceptable, and eventually she will get it, good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • spanking only say's i'm mommie and i can strike you and you are not to say or defend yourself, i was raised on ass whippings, and i don't see where it helped, although i never gave parents trouble, but i feared them, why would you want your child to be afraid of you, how long can spankings last? what happenes when they get to old to spank, i just feel that spanking is wrong, that is negective reinforcement, ii bet you to make you behave, no that don't work, i know i don't want someone hitting/spanking/beating me and right before or after you say you love me????? mix messages, so to all the parents that believe in spankings. ask yourself this would you want the one you love to hit you??? talking really does work, even if you have to repeat yourself, never hit, talk children are just little people they do understand once you explain
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • @spanking debate: I was spanked as a child and turned out okay. My man was belted and he's the most polite, chivalrous gentleman I've ever met. Spanking does not equal corporal punishment.

    @OP: Like others have said, immediate punishments are key. If she misbehaves in public, remove her IMMEDIATELY (even if it's inconvenient for you), strap her into her car seat, drive home, and give her the time out. During this entire time, don't say a word to her. My parents did this whenever my brothers and I misbehaved and we learned that going out is a treat that requires good behavior. Be consistent.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:47 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

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