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My mother-in-law & sister-in-law talk behind my back.

They call up and get my hubby togo over there for stupid reasons- like help fix the cable box or drive the car cause she doesnt drive anymore or buy a light bulb etc. His Mom makes excuses- so he goes over like once a week for 2 /3 hrs. Anyway he got mad at me and told me" You should hear how they talk about you." I knew they talked about me to each other, but I never thought they would have the disrespect to say stuff in front of my husband- who is suppossed to be my family now and should stick up for me. They just want him over there cause the r 2 old ladies & they want to try to pry information out of him so they can gossip. I am mad at him for not being on my side and telling them not to say bad things about my wife, and for going over there so much- wehave a baby and he doesnt help- nothing -and we have a house- shouldnt our family come first now? Cause I feel like second best/ depressed and does he really love me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • everyone talks about someone else behind their back, some say it behind there back and also to their face but theres always a time someone talks about someone else behind their back. youre talking about them without them knowing right now.......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I asked this- I always thought whenI got married it would be to someone who would stand by me- u know- that I could count on him to be my friend/ally- but its not that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I think there is a diffrence btw. them never finding out and your hubby telling you- their feeling cant be hurt by an question on the internet and a husband is suppossed to support you not be on their side- like an enemy. When you get married you have a new family- the Mother of ur child should be the most important person to u and ur kids-- everyone else after that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • my husband doesnt stand up for me to his family i have to do it myself. if they say something about me though he says im not going to listen to you talk bad about my wife i love her and then he gets up and leaves....but if it was something really bad hed defend me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • he agrees with them??? well he agrees with the bad things they say about you, then tell him how it makes you feel and if it isnt going to change id make him choose. you or them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I think he loves you but it is really hard for men to choose the wife over the mother. They are supposed ot choose the wife after they get married but many do not. It is wrong for him to allow them to talk about you and not say something. I have heard of this situation so many times. I would let him know that I was hurt about him not taking up for me. You need to let him know that you feel like he is putting you second.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 2:45 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • He loves you. He probably just didn't what to make waves at his mother's. It is easier just to smile and nod than it is to say Now stop it, I won't hear any more of that kind of talk. From the other direction, as a MIL myself, I would never say mean things about my DILs to their husbands (nor anywhere else actually.) But to say mean things about the DIL would be disrespectful not only to the son but to the DIL. It would seem as though I was trying to make the husband feel badly about his choice in wife. It would be a very bad thing to do.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:52 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I think he needs to stick up for you and tell her to just please mind ur own business- Dont talk mean about my wife- cause if he doesnt then u should tell him he is so very wrong not being a good hubby to u and a good daddy to kids- u should not feel bad everytime he goes over there wondering what they say- he needs to tell them u r his family too - no bad stuff or hes not coming over-I wouldnt go over there myself for a visit if they keep it up- if you mother- in-law wants to see the kids she should have a good relationship with u.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • He should be sticking up for you...and they shouldn't speaking poorly of you either. I bet he's speaking poorly of you right along with his mom and sis...what a wimp.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Have the same issue but not married it's been 8 years and two kids and they are a bunch of haters and are just upset because I stole the good one, lol. Seriously they are most likely sad and feel they have lost him. We actually split up last year betwen kids and when he came back after 2 months his mother made him get everything from her house that was his. When he told her she is pushing him away and she could lose him she finally said it "I already have I lost you to her" come on he's your son and It was 6 years at this point and one perfect grandson and she was still all upset and how could you be upset that he wanted his family to work out, so in close some people are just crazy.
    myscreamer

    Answer by myscreamer at 3:23 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

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