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Daughter won't let me drop her off at daycare.

My daughter is four years old. She hates getting dropped off at daycare. This has just started. She throws a fit, starts hitting the door to leave, throws herself on the ground, etc. I'm afraid she is gonna hurt herself when she starts hitting the door...she just runs full force into the door with her whole body. Sometimes It takes me like 30 minutes to get her to calm down so I can leave...and other days I have to get the teacher to pry her off me so I can get to class on time. She didn't use to act like this. I'm not sure what's causing her to act like this. I talked to her daycare teachers and they said that during the day she is just fine as could be. As far as I can tell nothing has's the same morning routine and everything like that. I don't know what to do. Is this a normal phase? Is she just being a brat? Her teachers are no help and I don't know what to do to make mornings easier.



Asked by BuggersMom05 at 2:57 PM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • Often as children get older they become more fearful of things than they were at 2 or 3 years old. Not necessarily because something bad happened, but because they are more aware of the world around them and all the insecurities that go with being in the world. It could be a phase she is going throrough a phase.
    She is getting mixed messages from you when you stay at school and talk to her and try to calm her down. You need to drop her off outside of the classroom door. Give her a kiss/hug and tell her you will see her after______(insert final classroom activity, ex. See you after you eat snack). If you go on in the classroom, it is harder to get away. Lingering for a half hour gives her the feeling that you think she can't handle it. Obviously, she is fine after you leave. There is a good book for kids called the "kissing hand." It is a storybook that deals with the concept of separation. Say goodbye and go!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 4:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • change daycares - that is not normal behavior- change asap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • Well if she was fine before then I would try to talk to her and ask her what has changed. Ask her if she would like to go to a different one. Someone there could be mistreating her and her be scared to tell you. If an adult threatens a child the child usually won't tell. I would try to find a new daycare and if she acts the same then you know that it is just her. But if she gets back to normal you know it was the daycare GL

    Answer by heather.darin at 3:08 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • If the teachers aren't equipped to handle this, you need a new preschool.

    Answer by apexmommy at 4:16 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I think it sounds like normal separation anxiety. Talk to her about that you have to get to class and she has to get to her class. Tell her that you love her very much and will see her when you are both done. Do this before you leave the house or in the car. When you get to the school take her to her class set her down ignore her.(YOU may cry on the way out) Sit in the parking lot for about 3 min then call and check on her. If she is still upset then there may be a problem but the average child who acts up when their mom leaves fit only last about 2 min. I gave my son a watch and set the alarm on it so that it would beep a few min before I normally got there. I also would kiss his hand every morning with my lipstick so my kiss would last all day long. If she is fine when you pick her up then I wouldn't worry to much. I would also like to add that I worked in a daycare for a few years. I saw this every day from at least 1 kid.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:53 PM on Jul. 1, 2009