Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

help i want to run away from home

my husband and i recently found out our 17 years olds girlfriend is pregnant. since then i have been really upset please help. He has decided to remodel his bedroom, and has had people here all the time. Firs of all I feel like who's house is this anyway. I feel like this isn't my house. I have no say. Am I wrong for wanting some say over who comes and goes in my house. Am I wrong for wanted to spend a day cleaning or just relaxing without a trail of people comin through. I must of counted 30xs today the door opening and closing and I am starting to have panic attacks and want to run away. I tried talking to my husband but he won't stand up to the kids he wants to be thier buddy instead. I would loved to be asked if someone can come over, is that to much to ask? what do i do

Answer Question

Asked by browneyegirl724 at 5:03 PM on Jul. 1, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • it's your house, you need some ground rules. Maybe just some times only company between certain hours. Are they disruptive? or you have no privacy? Its nice that you have the hang out house so you can see what him and his friends are up too, but with a pregnat girlfriend maybe its time he focus less on friends and do some responsible things to prepare for this baby!! Try to find middle ground you are comfortable with and set up the boundaries!

    Answer by ria7 at 5:17 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • All I can advise is: take a deeeep breath- go outside, to the park or a friends house for the day, or library. With your son having a baby coming, your husband wants to help and this is all he thinks he can help with. Yes, you are the other parent - so sit down with your son and set ground rules for his friends to come over or maybe he can go over there. set boundaries for when they can work on son's room. if son doesn't like the boundaries then too bad.

    Answer by carol4004 at 6:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I feel for you, I too have two girl's 16 and 17 driving me is the worst age for us to deal with..they don't know what they do to us...nor do they even think it matter's at this age...My Mom had a saying on our wall growing up, and now I get it! It said.....TEENAGER'S MOVE OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL KNOW IT ALL!

    Answer by S.Eckard at 8:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • first and foremost you need to put your foot down you are never going to get over everyday stress if this occurs to be an everday proble, he need to know now what responsibility means especially if that means he is going to be a young father now, you should sit him down and tell him how you feel about everything, [vent] maybe he doesnt know how you truly feel about it, make him pay bills and help out around the house instead of letting millions of people in your house all day, well good luck to you

    Answer by GRAC-E at 10:00 PM on Jul. 1, 2009

  • I'd say,"Listen here asshole, This is my house! I know you couldn't put on a raincoat before sexin' up your gf and knocked her up, but that's no excuse to be treating my house like some kind of beach resort where you have people coming and going and shit. You want something like that, get off your ass, get a job and get your own damn apartment otherwise I'm gonna start dusting in the nude!"

    But that's just me, and yes, I would actually say something like this...
    "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission"~Eleanor Roosevelt
    "Stand up for your beliefs even if you stand alone"~Author unknown
    "You let people treat you like a carpet, they're going to walk all over you!"

    Also, You need to tell hubby there to put on his big girl panties and stop trying to be all buddy buddy or your going to put Bengay in the crotch of all his underwear.

    Good luck there sis!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 12:57 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • your going to put Bengay in the crotch of all his underwear

    Damn, hmmm maybe I should try that on an alcholic asshat I know.

    Answer by PestPatti at 12:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Change the locks!!! Remove the teens doors, set rules and limits, and talk with Dad. Most kids who have "dads/parents," as friends, do not know limitations, and fail in the "real world," due to boundaries set? Dad needs to stop being a friend, but, a parent. that is why the girl is pregnant, no parenting from anyone that is "suppose to be the adults." I would move him out to support his child and girl...were you the ones in the bed with them? Grow up parents!!!

    Answer by mamajack824 at 2:29 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Somebody needs to wear the pants in your family.


    Answer by JenFunSniffer at 1:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • tell them you aint gotta go home but you gotta get out my house and ill call you when you can return

    Answer by mekarevell at 9:51 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.