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how can I get her to stop comparing us...?

I have been friends with this girl since 6th grade, we both had babies in 07...her son was born in sept and my dd born in october neither planned lol. Well, my DH and I decided to try again in march so I got my IUD taken out, the doctor told us to wait a month to try cause the IUD makes your uterus thin, so we waited a month thinking it would take 6 to 7 months to get prego. Well we were pregnant less than a week later. And now her and her SO want to try which I think is great because all our kids will be close in age. But she keeps saying things like, why did you get pregnant so quick...whats wrong with me? And I dont know what to say. All people are different. What should I say to her, or do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 AM on Jul. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (2)
  • You have your answer in your question....All people are different.....also she has had one child so there is obviously nothing wrong with her......she is just feeling a little insecure so encourage her to be patient.

    Answer by malam at 3:24 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I think that I would only validate her concerns once or twice with a "I'm so sorry that it is not going as quickly as you would like it to." and then just encourage her to talk to her doctor. It may be she is not trying to compete with you but may be genuinely concerned she may have infertility issues. So just listen, nod, and be a good friend. If she has been your friend since sixth grade she has a lot of good qualities or you would not have been together for so long. Hang in there and just continue to be the same friend she has always had.  The above poster is not correct - there is such a thing as secondary infertility.  Where you had one child or several, want to have another child but cannot.  While it may be to soon to start worrying about it there is always a possibility.


    Answer by frogdawg at 6:50 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

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