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What do you think about the whole boys don't hit girls?

We always raised our boys to never hit a girl/woman. However, it appears that girls are not taught to hit boys. My one son took getting pushed and kicked two girls because he was told never to hit a girl by us and he was doing what we told him. My other son took karate chops to the back by another girl while several adults watched and did nothing. So we are changing our stances to if a girl hits you then give it back. Do you think it is right for a girl to hit a boy and not except to get hit back? Also what would you do if a child hit your child in the back in the spine which could potentionally paralyze & injure them and the adult in charge was not stopping or correcting it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Jul. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (65)
  • the kids in my home know : dont hit EITHER SEX unless they hit u 1st. i had to teach that to a damn 2 y/o! my son kept getting hit by this grl in day care and the teacher wouldnt do anything. so i told him she does it again hit her back. and i taught that to each kid

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • oh and to add (i didnt read the bottom of ur question) -- if someone hit my child and paralyzed them , sorry those parents are IN FOR IT! your child doesnt ruin my babies life and u get away w/ it! and as for the adult in charge (if it was day care) theyd be closed bc they obviosly cant take care of more than 1 child

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I've tried to teach my sons that they should never hit a girl. BUT, I have also taught them that if someone hits them first, that they don't have to take that, male or female. I've told them that if ANYONE hits them, first they should try to tell a grown up, but that if no grown up is around or the grown ups refuse to help, then they need to hit back. And when it comes to girls, they understand that it is not ok to hit a girl just b/c you feel like it or she makes you mad, but if she hits you first, then she deserves what she gets. To me, it's pretty simple. I would never hit anyone, much less a man, b/c I don't want to get hit back. If I hit, I should expect to get hit back. Period.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:47 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • No in my house we teach no one hits, period.
    I have a son and a daughter and both of them are taught that hitting is NEVER ok.
    As for paralyzing, I am ALWAYS nearby my children to ensure they are safe. The only time that I am not there is when my son is at pre-k, but I trust his teacher fully and completely. There is a strict non violence attitude (even hitting and pushing). I know my son would never be hurt. If I were in the situation where the other parent was not controlling their child, I WOULD STEP IN to protect mine.
    Actually, just yesterday at the park I removed another childs hands from my daughter, squatted down and firmly said "we do NOT hit". Honestly, I would hope that if my kids were hurting another child and I didn't see it, another mother would step in firmly but gently and correct them/.

    Answer by AJsMomma at 8:50 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • There is no hitting at ALL. No matter the sex. It is mean.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 8:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Well no one hits and thats our teaching but as far as the specific boys dont hit girls teaching, I think its meant to carry later on in life. When kids are preschoolers or just young children, the girl/boy line is much more blurred. Girls are usually stronger personalities and even bigger than the boys and its more like preschooler hitting preschooler. As they get older, boys become bigger and stronger and could really hurt a female if hit. Its never okay for girl to hit a boy, but even more important that boys not hit girls because they are stronger than they really know. Also its meant to establish the line of respect for women as the weaker sex. Sorry if that offends anyone, but its the truth. We are weaker in the sense of strength and it also sets the stage to prevent domestic violence. SO while its a teaching that needs to be taught early, its more intended for later on in life as a foundational teaching.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • AJSmommy there 2 adults in charge and the first time my son played it off. The second time he looked at DH like help me. He was not even near her so it was unprevoked. She came up and said you know this would hurt and did it again. After DH realized no one was going to say anything he went off on her (which is so out of character for him). He said she hit his lower spine each time. They forget my son maybe younger but is stronger then them. He would cause them great pain if he hit back. I normally am against hitting back but if no one corrects these girls why should he risk getting injured.

    I am worried because they will be caring for my boys while I am in the hospital and if the girls come over then what?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I have both boys and girls so I have no reason to take one side or the other. I have seen it played out in my home. I dont expect my 7 yr old son to get hit by his older sisters and NOT expect him to hit back. Hes going to and they know it. Its more in the social setting that this is taught for him. He is to respect girls and if they dont respect him or are physically violent, then he is to stay away from them and let me know. I dont want him hitting back in school because it wont be looked at as getting even, it will be looked at as domestic violence. I would rather hm just let me handle it. My girls know that if they hit others...expect to get hit back. I have a teenager so I see how this is supposed t prevent her from being hit by males. It would devastate me if she was struck by a male in her school. ANyway, its just a good habit to get into. But it should go both ways. Unfortunately its not always going to do that.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:00 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • My kids are taught to defend themselves no matter who hits them. But my boys are taught to never hit their sister. They protect her.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:17 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • We are a no hitting family. We model this ourselves by not using physical discipline, and no spanking. If my child were "attacked" in a way where she would be seriously hurt than I would expect her to defend herself ONLY to the point of defense and no further. I would not want her to then beat the person. However, if she is hit once or twice and not seriously injured then she is find an adult.

    Answer by kara_g. at 9:25 AM on Jul. 2, 2009

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