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about my 11 months old daughter not being able to CIO

i have tried everything in comfort, blanket, bottle, night light, music and even putting her down when shes really tired. given her a snack. she likes it better if i hold her, rock her or feed her to sleep. is that bad? my pediatrician thinks i shouldnt do that anymore cause shes almost a year and said it will be alot harder to wean her off all that stuff and make her independent as she gets older. im scared. but she cant cio, she will throw up. i seriously have done it all. i kind of gave up the method cause it just wont work if she throws up. if she didnt it would be sort of different, but she gets really upset. and once i pick her up shes fine..she calms down and i wash everything off her..and by then shes really tired..anbd i hug her or feed her and she goes to sleep..and this is nap times in the day this happens. and if i tried at night it would be the same old thing too.

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blueside22

Asked by blueside22 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 2, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • I say, just keep holding her and rocking her...she won't be little forever and there will come a time when she won't want you to anymore anyway. Love it while she still wants it. After all, she is only 11 months old anyway. She only has so long to be a little kid and forever to be an adult. As long as you have the time and energy to rock her, then do it....you would hate to know you didn't do it anymore just because and something happened to her. Don't rush her because someone else thinks she needs to "grow up".
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • What type of bed time routine do you have? Maybe try rocking her until she's almost a sleep then lay down. let cry for just a few minutes so she doesn't get overly upset. Pick up again until almost asleep then put back down. Keep doing this until she finally gives up? She may fall asleep on you a few times, but keep up with you. Unfortunetly, I don't think it's going to be easy for you. You're just going to have to be consistant. A good calming bath, maybe a story or song, some rocking to let her know that it is now bed time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • It is NOT bad. Do what WORKS. They ALL become independent!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:41 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • The feeding, rocking and holding until she falls asleep IS what is causing the problem. And it's also why she gets so upset when you put her in her crib. YOU are her bed and comfort item right now and that is why she can't sleep on her own.
    She needs to make new sleep associations that her bed isn't the scary place she wakes up in when you have vanished.
    She needs a new routine and a new way of putting her to bed. No night light, no music, no rocking until she is sleeping.
    Our routine is reading a couple of books and singing a song or two in his room and then kisses and then he goes into his crib. (It use to be rock with music, bottle or breastfeed until he was passed out and then sneak him into his crib and if he woke up we started ALL over again... and this was only 2 weeks ago) Now he just put his head right down and goes to sleep.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 12:41 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • We started CIO very early with my daughter (I know ppl. are against it, but it works) and now at 4 mos. she can put herself to sleep. In the beginning, we just kept putting her down over and over again until she finally gave in. We have a bedtime routine we follow each night. Then we'd put her down, let her cry for 10 mins. go in check on her, maybe pick her up depending on how hysterical she was, but then we'd always put her back down. YOu just have to be consistent. You don't have to just close the door and never go back in, you can check on her every 5 mins., then every 10 mins. and so on. My DD is really stubborn so it took a good month before she wasn't screaming bloody murder in her crib. Good luck.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 12:42 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Totally agree with danielp. That's what I did. You have to do it EVERY night. Mine took about 2 weeks, and she still gets kinda mad when I put her in there for a nap.
    Lauren24

    Answer by Lauren24 at 1:05 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • OH yeah and make sure you do this method for naps, too. Once we decided she was going to sleep in the crib, we never let her sleep anywhere else, not even in our arms. It was hard, but she was so stubborn that I needed to get it through to her that the crib is for sleeping.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 1:06 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Don't worry about it, she's not going to need you to rock her off to sleep when she's in college! Leaving a baby to CIO is just sick and wrong. Do you really want her to learn that mommy doesn't come when she's upset? The only reason CIO supposedly works is because babies learn that their parents don't care enough to comfort them when they're upset and they stop trying.

    If you want to stop rocking her to sleep then let go gently. Rock her till she's sleepy then lay her down but keep stroking her tummy, humming lullabies, whatever works. She'll learn to finish falling asleep by herself but still know that mommy is there. It shouldn't take long until she can fall asleep with you just standing there and after that it won't take long for her to fall asleep by herself. If she cries just go back in, comfort her, then leave again. If she knows you'll come when called she won't need to call just to check.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 1:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • That's common. Some babies need to feel direct comfort from mom and dad in order to fall asleep, whereas others can fall asleep without any sort of contact at all. Although your pediatrician has a point, it isn't going to harm your child by doing it this way. Many children I have known wouldn't go to sleep without being rocked first. Even well into their toddler years. Although I don't recommend allowing it to go on that long, right now I don't see it as a problem. You will know when it is becoming a problem though. If you feel that your child is becoming dependent, then maybe try letting her fall asleep in her swing. I also suggest laying her in her crib, and you sit next to the crib reading to her. Maybe she will be comforted that you're simply sitting next to her until she falls asleep. Plus, reading to children is praised by pediatricians.
    Like I said though, you know what's best for your child.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:46 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

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