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I am a sahm with severe depression. It does not occur to me to play with my son or take him out. he is 4 and my 16 yr old wants her license but I don't have the energy to deal with it.

my husband is no help. he comes home and we don't communicate very well, he drinks his beer and zones out, gets mad at me for not being cheery likes he wants me to be.
I live in the middle of nowhere, no insurence, no desire to go to a dr or pay the bill when it comes in. I cry because I'm not there for my son and my 16 yr old is mad at me for not taking her driving. At her school the class is 28 kids. She is the only one with out a license. It all she talks about how she doesn't have it yet and no life because of it.
Frankly when I have taken her out she doesn't listen when she's behind the wheel. She needs glasses and had a $400 pair but lost them, so hubby won't take her driving.
I just feel so sad and angry that I can't be a normal mom with a normal life and give my kids happiness.
How do I get help? no insurence, no desire to go anywhere much less a dr.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Been there, done that, I was in very similar situation. You need to find a local community clinic or call county health department or social services and get on Prozac or some kind of anti depressant. It really changed my life and my family beecause like I always say, if momma aint happy, aint nobody happy.
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 3:52 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • im sorry you feel like this but i would think your gonna have to go to the dr to feel better & get some meds or therapy...maybe you can go through your local dhs & apply for some med assistance to help pay or set up a payment plan w/ your dr...
    scooterpooter

    Answer by scooterpooter at 3:52 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I'm not a doctor but I can tell you that I suffer from depression but refuse to take long term meds bc of the side effects but I do take an over the counter thing called 5-HTP. Remember that there are 2 kinds of depression. I) circumstantial depression- when things in life overwhelm you and make you sad such as death of a loved one, divorce, etc. In these, circumstances will change and with time things will get better. 2)Physiological depression: when the brain isn't working properly and meds are needed. Please know that lying around makes depression worse. Movement is helpful. (something about something settling in the joints, blah blah blah. My dr told me but I was too depressed to listen intently) So force yourself to get up and move around. You could also have a hormonal imbalance. Also, eat right and take vitamins with iron. It's never easy fighting depression but mine is cyclical so I can think better after a few days
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:30 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • call CONTACT a united way 24h help agency for help. Call your county health department. is there some one a neighbor, minister even if you're not in church yet, lots of ministers care for their communities and will help. Do you have family further away you want to be with but can't get there?Call any minister who help you make calls . What state do you live in?

    Do you have an egg timer? Set it for 10 minutes and sit down with your son at your computer in different kids websites for fun learning for him. Discovery.com and also animalplanet.com are free also, lots of fun for kids. WHEN your time dings take set the time again for five minutes and be with him for another five minutes. That way you see time going and don't loose yourself in needing to be away from him. There are a lot of help hot lines too nationally if you feel like you could hurt your self or kids. As for your teen, I have a 16 yo too, same.Make calls!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • kids websites: crayola crayons, also museums have websites some times of fun things to do. If your daughter needs glasses to see that's not good for hubby to refuse them. Lots of times frames in men's dept of eyeglass frames stores are less costly than women and just as doable. Fastest way for help is probably a minister or priest. Rarely would one turn their back on a community member who needs help. They could help call agencies in your county and family for you. Write back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • The only way for you to get help is to go to a doctor. I've so been in your shoes and still am at times. The first thing I was told by doc was to try to get out and walk every day for 30 minutes. I thought "is he serious?" But, I gave it a shot and it did help some. You may need to see a therapist for awhile to help you get your self esteem back. And, don't be afraid of Depression Medication. It has done wonders for me and many others I know. Depression isn't always what it seems....it can be caused from a chemical imbalance in the brain, and you need the medication to help get the serotonin you need to feel better. Don't take anything without asking a doctor first. I also know the no insurance part sucks. I'm in the same boat, and it can get expensive, but it is so much better than feeling the way you are right now. It's your health -you are worth it. And, please, don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. So many of us
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 5:10 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • have been there, and I can honestly tell you that GUILT is a double edged sword. There is no end to it....ever....I think it's something ingrained in us as women. We never feel like we do enough, feel enough, whatever..
    Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for how you feel, and get some help. Please remember that the best thing you can do for your children is to get the help you need so you can be there for them. Why continue to live in that abyss (as I like to call it) when you can gently climb your way out. YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!! God Bless and Good Luck to you......
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Its hard being in this state of mind and the only way out is by getting help. Maybe the support of everyone responding will encourage you to get the help that's needed for you. Right now you're walking around with a dark cloud covering your whole life but once you've gotten help, you'll see a brighter day....GL
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:36 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I can tell you that right now I am in the same situation as you. I have been on anti-depressants but can no longer afford to buy them. There are a lot of things I think that have caused me to feel like I do. Many things have happened that I won't go into here (I could write a book!) I do know that the meds helped but they didn't get me out. I suppose I should have called the doc about that but I didn't feel like it. And that is just about the jist of the problem....you don't feel like doing anything. I am going to try to take some of the advice given to you for myself. (Hopefully hubby will help me, but prob not as usual). One thing I know does make me feel a little better is to go out into the sunshine. It is tough though to make yourself do it. Most days I feel like a recluse. I have two young kids 6 and 8, and two older step-children 15 and 17(they haven't stayed with us since January of this year).
    starlite66

    Answer by starlite66 at 7:28 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

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